I'm Drowning

I love it! It is sooo how I feel when I'm down. I will definitely keep checking at your poems

I will be backt to review this !

Much like what @JayeCShore said this poem is rather simple and a dime a dozen. However, poems are an outlet which many writers show their real raw feelings.

At first I was ready to pretty much rip this thing apart. Then I saw Jaye's review. It made me think. Should I? Here is a poet throwing themselves into a poem and here I come along ready to say how boring and over done this thing is. Made a bitter taste in my mouth.

Despite the fact that the poem itself was rather bland there were a few lines I found to be rather good.

Everyone is breathing next to me

I can see them stride forward

Never doubting their next step

While I have to convince myself

To move myself forward

Hi, J.C. here for a review!

First off, it's good that you put in the description that you wrote this to express what you are feeling. All too often I review something of this sort thinking the writer wants a hardcore, honest review about their work, when in reality they were doing what you've done, and I make them mad.

Speaking as someone who has suffered through this very thing, and who has friends who still are, I know some of your pain. You feel like no one cares, and even if they do, they aren't capable of understanding you, so any attempt just makes it worse. It's a hard position to be in.

Of course, this is a writing site, and I am writing a review on writing, so in order to stick to the 'prime directive' I'll give a really fast critique with no bells or whistles attached.

I'm pretty sure that everyone rights a poem similar to this at least once in their life, so for the reader it's nothing new, but to the writer it may be something very important, so I won't say anything further about the subject or content.

As far as the writing goes, I would say it's another poem with another message. Nothing spectacular, but nothing to really criticize. In the end, though, this is a small piece of you, so who can really say that it is bad or good? Especially when you haven't written it for that purpose. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you Rockertink96!