I am sorry, Mr. Worm
you are so very busy.
Eating and making wormholes
takes quite a lot of energy.
I am delicious, you would agree?
The brightest apple of the tree.
When I was young,
I didn't notice you much.
We weren't much friends then.
You pass by quickly, Mr. Worm
you even fly sometimes.
Now I am a wrinkly core,
I wave at you everyday
with a smile for an old friend.
Thank you, Mr. Worm
I would like to rest now.
I would be happy to be buried
under the shade
of my apple tree.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Good work ! But there are some parts that broke the rhyming you were making it made it flow uneven.
Maybe you could put the last three lines in once sentence or rewrite it a bit to make more sense of it. Keep writing!
This was such a cute, refreshing poem! I liked it a lot. It does have it's mistakes, though. For one:
Eating and making wormholes This makes it sound like Mr. Worm is eating his wormholes as well as making them.
We weren't much friends then. The word 'much' in this phrase is just a little awkward, made more so by the fact that you also used it in the previous line.
You pass by quickly, Mr. Worm This one is too similar to time passing, and it confused me for a bit. Maybe change the wording around.
Again, I liked this one very much. This could be a really great poem!