TW: This poem was written in remembrance of the events of 9/11/2001.
Note: I was not alive when 9/11 happened. But like most people, I've seen the pictures, the videos. I've read the articles, the testimonies. This is not meant to idealize any part of the tragedy that was 9/11.
I can still smell the smoke from that September day,
the day where towers fell and lives were cast away.
I can recall the tears of mourning and the prayers that healed us all;
I was in New York the day I watched the Twin Towers fall.
Four planes flew from coast to coast that morn,
and they would change the fate of America forevermore.
Lo, I stood on the ground as the attack began;
I watched the smoke billow down from the North Tower's parapet.
Less than twenty minutes later, I saw the ghastly sight once more:
Satan's loyal workers attacked the South Tower's steel core.
My eyes brimmed with tears as I watched on hopelessly;
What on Earth was happening to the Land of the Free?
The sirens wrang out, the people cried, bang, and then silence came--
the South Tower soon fell, killing all still inside; we knew not who to blame.
The North Tower followed her beloved sister mere minutes afterwards.
Our prayers were unanswered, our mourning forgotten, while our tears streamed down to the earth.
I can still remember what New York was like that September day,
for I was there and died as the North Tower gave way.
I have been avenged by the grace of my loving God,
for he has led my brethern to protect and defend once more.
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Canary word: Present
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Hey! IMK here.
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First of all. Thank you so much for writing this. It's really important that people understand that 9/11 was a huge event in the history of America, and the entire world.
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Now onto the poem as a poem. I really love the imagery, its very emotional and thorough. I also love the use of descriptive terms like ghastly.
The punctuation is refreshing, I rarely see people using dashes and semicolon as obsessively as I do (not implying that your use is obsessive).
Personifying ideas is something i do pretty commonly, but I'm not sure what I think of it when used to describe the twin towers.
Other than that, i only see a few spelling errors (brethern --> brethren on the last line) (wrang --> rang in "The sirens wrang out") and a moment where I would replace a word with an interjection (the people cried, bang, and then silence came-- --> the people cried- BANG! And then silence came--).
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That's it for my review, have a good day!
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-IMK
I just got to say wow this is so emotional and I love how you wrote about 9/11. This almost made me cry. I feel like this should be published. I mean I am not an expert writer or reviewer but this is really good. When you said, "Less than twenty minutes later, I saw the ghastly sight once more Satan's loyal workers attacked the South Tower's steel core." I just had chills. Those men who destroyed the tower went into this knowing they would die but they did it anyway. Whoever recruited these people deserve to be punished.
wow