That Mountain

Well ,since kiki just STOLE the biggest part I had to say here's my opinion:
-Kiki is right LISTEN TO HER!!
-Subsitute some of the periods for commas to help along the flow.
- Though the journey was hard,the long narrow path has brought me here. (EXAMPLE )
Make these simple corrections and this will be a really great poem!

Hey there,

As I climb up that mountain. That stands so tall. I feel so alone. I’m the weakest of all.
I am certainly the kind. That no one looks at. Who people like you pay no mind.
I soon reach a foot path at this height. Thinking hard I make my choice. Two paths, I choose the right.
When I reach the summit the light draws near. Though the journey was hard. The long narrow path has brought me here.
Basking in the glory of being my own guide. Like a person with a trophy. A great sense of pride.
All of the sudden I fall and curse the pain. Beaten and bruised along the broken way. Thinking only of losing everything I’ve gained.
When I land at the bottom I look back at the giant cliff. Left with no hope. I clench me hands hard till they go all stiff.
Almost leaving, I turn and see. Something that will help. Every one of my friends staring right at me.
It’s time like this I wonder. Why I just didn’t ask for help. So it’s this I sit and ponder.
They support me and lift me up really high. With help I will make it… To the mountain in the sky.

As I climb up that mountain.
That stands so tall.
I feel so alone.
I’m the weakest of all.
I am certainly the kind.
That no one looks at.
Who people like you pay no mind.
I soon reach a foot path at this height.
Thinking hard I make my choice.
Two paths, I choose the right.
When I reach the summit the light draws near.
Though the journey was hard.
The long narrow path has brought me here.
Basking in the glory of being my own guide.
Like a person with a trophy.
A great sense of pride.
All of the sudden I fall and curse the pain.
Beaten and bruised along the broken way.
Thinking only of losing everything I’ve gained.
When I land at the bottom I look back at the giant cliff.
Left with no hope.
I clench me hands hard till they go all stiff.
Almost leaving,
I turn and see.
Something that will help.
Every one of my friends staring right at me.
It’s time like this I wonder.
Why I just didn’t ask for help.
So it’s this I sit and ponder.
They support me and lift me up really high.
With help I will make it…
To the mountain in the sky.