The Time We Spent Together
The Laugh We Shared Together
Became Memories
Never To Be Cherished Again !!
I Bended To Be Your Friend
And You Pretended Just To End ...
All My Woes Are Healed With Your Smile
And It Had Been Happening Before A While ...
Everyday As You Wore Mask
I Didn't See That It Was Your Task ..
As You Were My Light In The Night
I Am Finding You Now As My Wrong In The Strong ...
You Have Never Been Real
Just Used Your Eyes To Conceal ..
I Believed One's Eyes Could Never Snare
But Yours Were Rare .
I Kept The Rod Of Trust
And Finally Noticed The Formation of Rust...
No Use In Calling You As A Breaker And Faker
As Ours Is Bound To Be Drowned....
The Flame Of Friendship Can. Never
Be extinguished ...
But Can Be Hidden Deeply
Because Of Jealousy...
Rekindling The Flame
Is Not To Blame ...
Thanks For Wearing The Veil
Standing As The Cause of This Tale ....
Unfortunate To Bear This Pain
But Fortunate Enough To Sustain....
If You Ever Fall
Just Give Me A Call ...
Not To Cheat
And To Repeat ...
One day, There will Be A One In My Heart
Who Restart ....
Not To Hide The Scar
But To Become A Star...
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Canary word: Present
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141,720 Literary Works • 675,610 Reviews
Hello Rithika!
You reviewed 2 of my works, so I figured that I would review yours!
First of all, A late welcome to YWS. I am also indian btw; your name sounds like you are from the South as well! Also, you can call me Queenie instead of The Queen!
Now, let me see....
I can deeply relate to this; I think everyone can at some point. But this is absolutely beautiful!
Praise:
I love the metaphors so much! The bittersweet ending and the forgiveness.
Critique: Just fix the grammar for restart.
That's about it ,
Much love
Queenie
"This is really helpful! 💛 Could you tell me more about the grammar? I want to fix it properly."
Oh yes, I did not give much detail , did,nt I. here
Maybe restart is'nt the right word here?
Will Check Out 👍
I don't know how to say it but the poetry was going like a story, telling us grief first and slowly it converts into something soften.
How much time it took you to write this?
"Thanks for asking! 🙏 About a hour. How long do your poems usually take you?"