Published March 22, 2008
By my dad:
Racism is a difficult topic.
You say something wrong
And you may get dropped quick.
Quick as in fast,
falling to the ground,
and hitting the pavement
could be your last sound.
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140,236 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
I totally agree with your dad. racism is a tough topic to talk about/ around/ near/ far/ here/ there/ anywhere. But he does have a point. You say something to the wrong person and "
"Very short, and not much of a song, but more of a lyrical problem.
BTW did your dad get in trouble with racism when he did that LOL.
This is really good. It's short, but it's very good. I liked how you explained how racism can cause pshyical pain. Yes, racism is a very difficult and hurtful topic. I liked the rhyming and rythem. Try to extend this a bit. Good work!
-Rick.
This is more of a poem than real, hard song lyrics. As a poem, it's wonderfully creative, terriffyingly true and sobering. As a lyric--meh.
Haha, when I said by my dad I meant that...my dad actually wrote this. After he thought of it, he was really excited for me to put it up and see what kind of reviews he got. You all made him very happy.
He'll try to make it longer he says.
Thanks for the reviews!
~Rieda
I'm a bit confused. When you say "By my dad" do you mean that what follows was written by your dad, or do you mean that what follows is a summary of what he thinks? I like the latter better because then the phrase "by my dad" can be included in the poem, rather than it being a side note. Because then it adds another dimension to the poem.
This is true, but it's a little bland, especially to start the poem. However, I also kind of like it because it's blunt. However x2, It's blunt yes, but not in the shocking way that really grabs my attention.
I love these lines, how quick is stated, then defined after a pause. Makes it more dramatic ^_^
Surprisingly, I also like the rhyme of "ground" and "sound". It almost seems like it ties things together, somehow. And I like how there's the street imagery of "pavement", something that's hard and harsh, rather than something like, idk, dirt, which isn't as focused.
Again, I like the understated bluntness.
Hey Its SimonCowellLuver what up? Ok your little poem you got here is pretty good but i have some questions about it. It is kind of short. Short is ok but it just stops like that. I know the poem is "by my dad" but what about you what do you think about racism. \
I think you should add what you think in the poem that compares what your dad feels about the topic.
Have a good day. SCL
Racism is a difficult topic, as mentioned in your father's poem. I imagine it would depend on interpretation the bond between between you and the person whom you have said something wrong. The latter half indicates a violent reaction which could be seen as a mirror of today's society on certain issues such as race, but enough of the really deep interpretation! This poem is fairly good, because of the style and length. It seems like something that could be/or is, made into a rhyme, which leads to a variety of possible uses and it might even be possible, if desired, to base and entire book around it. Keep it up.
Warm Regards
-Elitehusky