Published June 1, 2007
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His master gave him the sword
Wouldn't you assume it was him? It was NOT a vision.
Anyway, thanks for the input. I will come back later and fix ><
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Hello!
The formatting is pretty off, hard to read in some parts, but I can edit it for you if you like? There are several places where you needed to start a new paragraph and also the beginning sentences were repetitive:
The third sentence could be something like: As it grows to the size of a watermelon ...
Here there is no need for the period.
‘Else’s’ shouldn’t be capitalised.
One of the bits I didn’t understand was the scene with his mother, was it a vision or real? And why blame his master? Would like to read more.
Myth
My first and only bump.
I plan to have the next one up later tonight. Also, don't be afraid to chat here
I appreciate all forms of criticism even the mean stuff.
~Reyu