Empty Emotion

Hello,

I love this poem so much and it's so relatable in so many ways and I am glad that I have seen this poem. All I have to say is that the title could be slightly better other than that everything is amazing. This poem says a lot to the readers. The narrator must've had a lot of heartbreak. The part that really speaks to me is:

I may be numb,

I may not care,

But I have emotion.

'Ello there!

First Impressions:

I first noticed the title and wasn't exactly fascinated. It's not a memorable title that references lines later in the poem or a verbose headline that gives off the ambiance. I don't avoid bare titles, but most of them depend on the selection of expression because insipid attributes aren't commonly attractive to most people.

The compact, chopped lines set the scene, I understand. It's like the narrator is grappling with their perceptions, and they find it troublesome to utilize the precise words in the demanding conditions they're working through, which is normally an efficacious thing.

The incorporation of temperatures and love matches pleasantly together, with heat referencing love being proficient. As the narrator and their companion fall out of that affection, they become distant, and frozen, and misplace that fever they possessed previously.

Then as they stretch apart, they've grown to the point where maintaining the relationship would just be detrimental to their thoughts and bodies. When they are walking away, they might sense regret in the moment, but they know it's the correct thing to do nevertheless.

The narrator shows struggle to let go of their sentiments, which is prevalent among people who have fled abusive or just toxic relations due to the person being manipulative. Even though you stated this wasn't an occurrence you went through, you appeared to produce a suitable environment.

Digging Deeper:

The narrator declares they've been through heartbreaks before, which makes me imagine that they've worked through abusive connections as well. Most people adapted to that lifestyle will fall for another abuser as they are used to all of the wrong things occurring.

They also affirm that they are numb and don't care about the incompetence, and then go on to declare they have emotion. That is somewhat contradicting in most standards, but it forms another layer to their history that once again ties back to the concept of toxic affection.

Then we move onto "You may have / Frozen me /But I am free" which asserts another conflicting narrative. It belongs with the rest of the approaches happening though, as it symbolizes that being frozen is something that isn't as serious as it appears on the surface.

Nitpicks:

I commented on the abrupt lines before, but I must bring up that the one words being on their one lines mess with the presentation from a formatting level. It cuts the flow off various times in my experience, and the became slightly bothersome later on.

I also feel similarly about your enjambment preferences. Typically, it's only practiced in moderation to produce a climactic interlude, and misusing it can naturally change a lot of your poem. The breaks are in uncomfortable locations currently.

Conclusion:

I appreciate what you tried to achieve with this poem because it converses to a lot of problems arising now, and that's something a lot of people are frightened to acknowledge they associate to as it develops with too much baggage.

Good job ~

chi

Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!

Wow. This hits hard. I can feel the emotion you put into it. Some sad and hurt. But some strong, trying to move on. A solo liked all of the metaphors you used throughout the poem. Like, "I am cold, And you are, A fire." This really gives the reader a good image of how you feel. Another thing I really enjoyed was the italics you used. It made it seem so much more powerful and meaningful.

Anyways great poem! Sorry, my review was a bit short! Also, could you maybe tag me when you post another poem?

Hi, Pineapple here for a little review!

I enjoyed reading this poem immensely. It was a good way of symbolizing heartbreak and resentment. The poem was also depicting how the narrator is rising up. They won't let the other person have that satisfaction of being hurt.

I also saw some parts of a toxic relationship. One where the narrator couldn't seem to get out of and seemed stuck. I don't know if you were trying to do this but that's what I got from the line "You may have frozen me, but I am free".

It was very emotional. The lines

"My heart has

Been broken

Too many times.


I will not run

This time.

I will not cry."

The narrator had seemed to go through growth as well. The narrator had gone through past breakups and they were done letting this one bug them.

Overall, great job writing this poem. I'm excited to see more of your work!

Signed,

Pineapple

Hi, Pineapple here for a little review!

I enjoyed reading this poem immensely. It was a good way of symbolizing heartbreak and resentment. The poem was also depicting how the narrator is rising up. They won't let the other person have that satisfaction of being hurt.

I also saw some parts of a toxic relationship. One where the narrator couldn't seem to get out of and seemed stuck. I don't know if you were trying to do this but that's what I got from the line "You may have frozen me, but I am free".

It was very emotional. The lines

"My heart has

Been broken

Too many times.


I will not run

This time.

I will not cry."

The narrator had seemed to go through growth as well. The narrator had gone through past breakups and they were done letting this one bug them.

Overall, great job writing this poem. I'm excited to see more of your work!

Signed,

Pineapple