Hi!
I like how blunt and straightforward this poem is. Normally topics like these are more lyrical and the writing is much more purple, but this was straight to the point, matching the speaker's uncaring attitude.
However, I want to point out something that didn't quite make sense to me. When the speaker is asked to donate or fundraise, one of the lines is "Sounding too ignorant now." Which I'm assuming is the point of the title, but I don't think the connection is strong enough. By titling it "Volunteer's Remorse" it makes it seem like the speaker is the volunteer and they are feeling sorry for something they did, when that's not the case. You say "Remorseful, but not in the right way." which doesn't make much sense either. I feel like this could have more explaining the exact remorse the speaker is talking about so that this poem is much clearer and understandable.
Also, I think this poem would work better without the punctuation. Right now almost every line has a pause immediately after it, so when it is read it sounds very staccato and makes it sort of monotonous. If you remove the punctuation, the way it is read sounds breathless, kind of like what people call "word vomit" and it better conveys this "remorse" you mention in the title. That's just an idea, though, you have total control over this poem.
Overall, I like the idea behind this, although it isn't very clear what the speaker is feeling. With some work, this could be a fantastic poem.
Good luck and keep writing,
Dianne E.C.E.
It was so direct and brought out the message so clearly. We in today's world don't care about anyone but ourselves. Our world revolves around our phone, facebook, etc.
Points: 5524
Reviews: 56
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