Published March 27, 2014
Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
I've got my word play bitch,
So suck on my dick.
I'm gonna be immature,
And call you a whore.
I'm a rap star, yeah,
Don't give me a snare.
I've got money on my mind,
So just give me some time.
We're talking world domination,
From my own creation.
And you're all gonna listen,
Or I'm on a mission.
To destroy all you fuckers,
Who don't know what art is.
I'll get all my money,
You'll all think it's funny.
But when I'm boning your wife,
Love the idiot boxed life.
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Hola! This is your fiancée, here once again to review a poem of yours. Now, this reminds me of a work by a YWSer named pengtingking (who is now known as BirthdayHangman), not just in the use of slang, but also in the subject matter. The narrator is VERY arrogant and narcissistic. It is also really funny too XD
WHOA there XDDDD That is very didactic
XDDDD Good satire here, good parodying, good emphasis on the immaturity of this specific culture. No one is safe
Ooooh bars XD It is very accurate, too, in terms of the specific subject matters raised in raps: the self-confidence, the self-assigned martyrdom, the taunting, etc.
Again, much like a lot of rap, there are a lot of threats if one does not "listen" to the rapper's "creation", to destroy "all you fuckers", whoever they may be. Again this is funny because it exposes the persecution complex of some rappers. XD
Ahhh a "yo mamma" reference. XD No satire on modern rap culture would be complete without it
Much love ♥
Wife
I like how some of it rhymes. I'm all for profanity, the more the better, but it's placed awkwardly, out of context, for me, that is.
My favorite part though:
"So just give me some time.
We're talking world domination,
From my own creation.
And you're all gonna listen,
Or I'm on a mission.
To destroy all you fuckers, <---- instead of fuckers, To destroy all you motherfucking nonbelievers.
(But what the fuck do i know? anyway, I liked that part of your poem)
Please watch your language when reviewing. It's okay to quote curs ewords from the work itself, but the f-bomb in the parenthesis in the bottom is what worries me. We have a www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=402&t=98621, so please read that.
Wrong link! Sorry about that. Here you go - The Censorship Policy