Idiot Boxed Life

by Renard

Published March 27, 2014

18+ Language

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.

I've got my word play bitch,

So suck on my dick.

I'm gonna be immature,

And call you a whore.

I'm a rap star, yeah,

Don't give me a snare.

I've got money on my mind,

So just give me some time.

We're talking world domination,

From my own creation.

And you're all gonna listen,

Or I'm on a mission.

To destroy all you fuckers,

Who don't know what art is.

I'll get all my money,

You'll all think it's funny.

But when I'm boning your wife,

Love the idiot boxed life.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Ardor
Review
Ardor wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2014

Hola! This is your fiancée, here once again to review a poem of yours. Now, this reminds me of a work by a YWSer named pengtingking (who is now known as BirthdayHangman), not just in the use of slang, but also in the subject matter. The narrator is VERY arrogant and narcissistic. It is also really funny too XD

I've got my word play bitch,

So suck on my dick.


WHOA there XDDDD That is very didactic :P

I'm gonna be immature,

And call you a whore.


XDDDD Good satire here, good parodying, good emphasis on the immaturity of this specific culture. No one is safe :P

I'm a rap star, yeah,

Don't give me a snare.


Ooooh bars XD It is very accurate, too, in terms of the specific subject matters raised in raps: the self-confidence, the self-assigned martyrdom, the taunting, etc.

I've got money on my mind,

So just give me some time.

We're talking world domination,

From my own creation.

And you're all gonna listen,

Or I'm on a mission.

To destroy all you fuckers,

Who don't know what art is.


Again, much like a lot of rap, there are a lot of threats if one does not "listen" to the rapper's "creation", to destroy "all you fuckers", whoever they may be. Again this is funny because it exposes the persecution complex of some rappers. XD

I'll get all my money,

You'll all think it's funny.

But when I'm boning your wife,

Love the idiot boxed life.


Ahhh a "yo mamma" reference. XD No satire on modern rap culture would be complete without it ;) I like the final title which concludes that it is satire, and implies a sense of self-mockery, which is in paradox to the self-seriousness of the narrator. XD It is a very good, clever and funny work. Keep it up :D

Much love ♥
Wife :D

User avatar
velvetmuse Review
velvetmuse wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2014

I like how some of it rhymes. I'm all for profanity, the more the better, but it's placed awkwardly, out of context, for me, that is.
My favorite part though:

"So just give me some time.

We're talking world domination,

From my own creation.

And you're all gonna listen,

Or I'm on a mission.

To destroy all you fuckers, <---- instead of fuckers, To destroy all you motherfucking nonbelievers.





(But what the fuck do i know? anyway, I liked that part of your poem)

Iggy replied · Mar 28, 2014

Please watch your language when reviewing. It's okay to quote curs ewords from the work itself, but the f-bomb in the parenthesis in the bottom is what worries me. We have a www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=402&t=98621, so please read that. :)

Iggy replied · Mar 28, 2014

Wrong link! Sorry about that. Here you go - The Censorship Policy



What's the point of being a grown-up if you can't be a bit childish sometimes?
— 4th Doctor