Heyo This is I, 567ajt, and I am here to review your very very very raunchy work. It is very...well, shall we titillating? XD Hang on- bad choice of words O.O Anyway, this work is very explicit and takes no prisoners, which is one of its strong points. It is also accurate and very non-cliché, and opts to unveil the more animalistic aspect of sex.
Now, there are three parts worth mentioning which made me blush, to be honest XD
I could feel his twitching cock pushing into my abdomen. Calling me. I wanted to feel him inside me so badly. The breathing, the pulsing, the desire was overwhelming. Even the smell of his flesh as his neck was buried into my face whilst we kissed.
As an opening, it really does let you know XD No backstory, no preparation, just straight into the kissing and the description of this assailant's "twitching cock". Bam. Right on the spot. (oh lord, another bad choice of words XD if any mod reads this, my Freudian terms are accidental ) It is very sensual and visual, which I think is key in writing erotic fiction.
He pulled at my shirt as I was undoing the buttons; and tossing the hem of my skirt up and down playfully. So ready. The shirt fell to the floor. Leaving behind it, my large, plump breasts, spilling out of the lacy black bra that barely contained them. We smiled simultaneously as he pulled me into another kiss and I appreciated the warm wetness of his mouth, as it simulated a similar sensation in my own cavern.
This had to be my favourite bit. You got all the tropes of erotic fiction spot on. Your adverb playfully was much needed and also much appreciated because that is exactly what sex should be between two people. This is incredibly accurate. Not to mention, this did...umm...do things to me...(blush, hide)...especially the "plump breasts"...they just....uhh...yeah.............XD
The familiar tingling sensations, the erect nipples, my breasts fluctuating with energy and my mind.. wrapped entirely into a sinewy of nerves... "Yes, yes, yes..." I could feel it in my legs, my arms, the tensing of my pelvic region and then...
I exploded into a beautiful reverie of euphoria. As he removed his wet fingers, licking my juices from them, he grinned.
"What next?" he inquired.
"Fuck me," I replied instantly, and clambered onto his naked cock.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I want a sequel! Nah in all seriousness, if you do want to follow this up, then go ahead If ya don't want to, then that's ok
I loved this work, because- if I am honest- of the material/concept, but also the way you have written it. I felt like I was actually there.....doing....things...ummm....anyway...
I love you. Fiancée.
<3333 ♥
Points: 40
Reviews: 279
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