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Young Writers Society


16+ Mature Content

Can You Handle The Truth? (Cos I can't)

by Renard


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

I bring myself no pleasure by my own hand,

Nor my mind;

I never have been able to.

Probably never will...

There, I said it:

I AM INCAPABLE.

Now you all know.

Hopefully the voices in my head will stop judging me now.


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317 Reviews


Points: 20
Reviews: 317

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Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:23 am
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lostthought wrote a review...



Ok, so I'm here to review.

Ok, I hate it when you people write so well I am left with no nitpicks. No grammar issues, everything is all spelled correctly, absolutely nothing to pick on!

It's nice to confess to something. Then you get it off your chest and you bring yourself to a different level of peace. Maybe it's not perfect, but it's better than being a ninny and just stay quiet for the rest of your life.

It's just like spongebob said, "I'm ugly and I'm proud. I'm ugly and I'm proud." Of course, you have to see that episode to know what I'm talking about. Basically he thought nobody would talk to him because he was ugly so he confessed to the world that he is ugly and he is proud.

This sorta looked like a poem at first and then I realized that it wasn't supposed to be meant as a poem.

I hope the voices in your head shut up now. If that doesn't work, threaten them that you are going to kick them out of their home if they do not be quiet and let you live your life.

This piece is awesome. Had to say it. Keep writing,

-lost






That was a beautiful and kind review, thank you. :)
-hugs-



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933 Reviews


Points: 4261
Reviews: 933

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Wed Mar 12, 2014 12:02 am
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Iggy wrote a review...



There is power when admitting something. It means you have the strength to face your problems, instead of hiding from them. It means you're strong enough to admit that you aren't perfect. And you know what? That's okay. No one is perfect. I know you've heard this a million times, but it's the truth. No one is perfect, and especially not you. And that's okay. You don't have to be ashamed or angry with yourself.

Tell the voices in your head to snuff it. But don't ignore them. Don't bury them. Because they will resurface, they will multiply, and then they will suffocate you. Face them head-on. Find out why they say what they are saying and tell yourself it isn't true. Convince yourself.

Even in a moment of self-doubt, you still have written something so beautiful. I can't critique it because it wasn't meant to be a poem, was it? Just something your mind cooked up out of the anger and frustration you felt. Well, then maybe you should get angry and frustrated a lot more often if you can cook up something like this, something small and simple, but powerful. (I'm kidding, don't get angry and frustrated, but srsly this is pretty good for something so small)

If I have to offer a bit of criticism, it's to remove the ellipses, as it doesn't really work for this poem-work creation. The all caps line was a nice touch. Normally I don't like all caps, because WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, but it worked in this case because it's dialogue.

You're a completely awesome and creative person, BiSF! Don't forget that. <3






Yes, this is exactly an angry mind recipe. XD
You have a habit of saying the nicest things to me I've ever heard.
Thank you Iggy. :)
-big hugs-




The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath