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Young Writers Society


12+ Mature Content

When we met again (Real Life Short Story 2)

by Amnesia


When I was 14 I got first hand experience with what drugs do to a family. My aunt had been clean from meth since I was about 4 so I'd grown up knowing that yes she is clean and yes she is sober. When I was 12 she mentioned to me that she was smoking weed again. I mentioned it to my mom. It erupted into a bad fight, one that caused 12 year old me to grab a knife from the kitchen because my aunt had her hands around my mom's throat  and was squeezing. We ended up sleeping in the middle of the desert that night. 

When I turned 13 we got news that my cousins Vallan and Torin had been removed from my aunts care, she was back on meth. My aunt came back swearing to my mother that she was off meth around christmas time. Christmas eve she made the mistake of telling someone that she was using my mother for money for drugs. This erupted in a giant fight. As I grew older I began noticing slight changes in my family pattern. I hadnt talked to Vallan or Torin in a year, two years, three years, and so on. Everytime my aunt popped back into my life it was always started with a "Hey honey i miss you, I love you" and somehow I was trapped. An endless circle of fighting in which I had to hide my siblings. 

And this was my life. Always the object my mom and aunt fought for. I wasnt on anyone's side. Eventually though things calmed down.

Now you're probably wondering why im telling you all of this. It's simple. I got a message from my cousin Vallan, tonight he messaged me. 11/5/16. And I cried on video chat. He's so big now. 17 years old and 6'2. He's taller than me and his voice got deep. I cant believe that ive missed his entire life. And I'm the closest thing to a big sister he has. He turns 18 soon and will no longer be a ward of the state. My new apartment has two rooms. Im gonna do my best to get his brother into my custody too. If I ever hear from my aunt again I will tear her to shreds. I lost my cousins for too long and I missed too much. She tore my family away because she only wants meth. 

This is the saga of my life and it's only going up

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82 Reviews

Points: 13625
Reviews: 82

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Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:08 pm
Eternity wrote a review...



Hey Bby<3 Kilg here with a review~

I wanted to start off by saying that I really loved this work and that it made me tear up. I'm utterly speechless and it brought tears to my eyes.

I normally base my work and writing around this type of stuff because it's a problem people seem to be inflected with a lot, and I'm sorry if you had to go through any of this. I'm guessing it's a way for you to release any anger or emotion left behind in a trail. I'm sorry, bby</3

Anyways, I don't have any comments besides the fact that I really liked this work and I look forward to reading some more of your work.

Also, just add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Keep writing and have a good day, dear.

~Kilg




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117 Reviews

Points: 11345
Reviews: 117

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Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:33 pm
Astronomer wrote a review...



Hello there, Remembrance!
This is Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^

This is a rather touchy topic, so I won't be voicing too many of my opinions on the matter. Regardless, I will try to review this the best that I can.

My aunt had been clean from meth since I was about 4 so I'd grown up knowing that yes she is clean and yes she is sober.

This sounds kind of choppy, so I'd suggest making this one big sentence into two sentences. So it would then be "My aunt had been clean from meth since I was about four. I'd grown up knowing that, yes, she is clean, and yes, she is sober."

When I turned 13 we got news that my cousins Vallan and Torin had been removed from my aunts care, she was back on meth.

Put an apostrophe in between the "t" and "s" in aunts, because it's a possessive noun.

My aunt came back swearing to my mother that she was off meth around christmas time. Christmas eve she made the mistake of telling someone that she was using my mother for money for drugs. This erupted in a giant fight.

Capitalize the first use of Christmas, because it's a holiday. "Eve" should also be capitzalized because it is also a holiday.

I hadnt talked to Vallan or Torin in a year, two years, three years, and so on.

Put an apostrophe in between the "n" and the "t" in "hadnt". Put a comma in between "Vallan" and "or Torin".

Everytime my aunt popped back into my life it was always started with a "Hey honey i miss you, I love you" and somehow I was trapped. An endless circle of fighting in which I had to hide my siblings.

"Everytime" should be "Every time". Capitalize the "i" in "I miss you". The last sentence doesn't really make sense on it's own, so conjoin it with the previous sentence, then split it up somewhere else?

And this was my life. Always the object my mom and aunt fought for. I wasnt on anyone's side. Eventually though things calmed down.

"Wasnt" should have an apostrophe in between the "n" and the "t", so it would be "wasn't". I'd add a comma in the second sentence to make things flow a little bit smoother.

Now you're probably wondering why im telling you all of this.

Capitalize the "im" and put an apostrophe in between the two letters.

17 years old and 6'2.

*6'2".

I cant believe that ive missed his entire life.

*I've.

Ignoring the er...drug related stuff, I found this story of reuniting really sweet (until I saw the "I will tear my aunt to shreds bit but shhhh). The only problems I find with this are lack of detail, and not much character development. But since this is based on true events as I saw on your wall, I can't really judge that. So my suggestions are to go a little bit more in depth.

That's all I have to say about this short story. I hope my review helped you out, and keep on writing! ^-^




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117 Reviews

Points: 11345
Reviews: 117

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Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:32 pm
Astronomer says...



accidental comment--ignore





“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
— Khalid Hosseini, Author