Drowning

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
So, first of all, welcome to the site! I hope you enjoy your time here, and if you need help with anything, please let me know, I'd love to help you out!
Now, on to the actual review. For a first poem, this is pretty good. I especially like the ending half, where you describe the sensation of drowning that the character is experiencing. I especially like the very ending, how the character wonders whether they want to drown themselves. I think it gives the poem just the right edge it needs to finish out strong.
Now, I do have a lot of things that I would like to suggest you adjust, or at least think about. Remember, these are just opinions, and if you think they're wrong, ignore them! First of all, the one thing that I would love to see throughout this poem is line breaks that don't only happen at the end of sentences. Line breaks cause the reader to pause when reading, almost like a comma or a period. If you only have line breaks at the end of sentences, it takes away a whole other element of the poem. You could try splitting your lines at commas, or at places where when you read the sentence you naturally pause.
Now, on to more specific things! First, just a few grammatical things. In the fourth line of your poem, the word "fathers" needs to have an apostrophe, because the favorite belongs to the father. Also in that line, you say "...grandfather be healthy." I think the "be" is unnecessary, since healthy is an act, you don't need to specify that that's what they're doing.
In the next line you mention the father again, which I find a little repetitive. You could change this by shortening the line to "I miss my family's happiness, I miss their success," or something similar. Or you could keep it the same, whatever feels natural for you!
I believe that's all the criticisms I have for today. When I first read through, I thought I noticed a few more things that could me adjusted, but looking at it again now I can't find anything! Anyways, good job! Sorry if I seemed a little harsh, it's just that I can tell by your writing you have a lot of potential, and I want to help you hone in on that. So, good luck! And thanks for the read!
herbgirl

Hello there, ReignRose1997.
This is Moonwatcher and I'll be your reviewer for today.

Okies, an anxiety poem, directed towards social anxiety. I feel this could be directed toward anxiety, in general. Mostly because you weren't that specific throughout the poem of what type of anxiety you have until the end, so I wouldn't really focus in on the "social" part. I also feel like the poem is a little bit disorganized and all over the place. I suggest having the parts dealing with people together, and keeping the metaphors to the sea together. However, you did a good job of demonstrating your emotions. This review is a short one, so that's just about all I really have to say. But good job, and keep up the good work!

First off I'd like to say, you would be surprised how many kids deal with anxiety these days. Its hard to say that I appreciate the content because living with anxiety sucks, but I really appreciate being able to channel it into good work, which is what you've done. That being said let's dive into it.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm lost at sea, drowning, just trying to tread water without drowning." I think you shouldn't use drowning twice. The second use of it interrupts the flow a little.

"Nothing I do is working, or enough." I would split this into two lines, "nothing I do is working," "nothing I do enough".

The last line really hits home. I appreciate your work. Keep it up, and just always control your work, don't let it control you.