Published March 16, 2005
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
It sound more of a small story piece than a poem..
Mostly because its not in stanzas. Sorry, it just makes it more look like a poem.. (shuts up)
This again sounds alot like u.I liked all of it expecialy the pizza part.
hmmm, i'm not sure about this. i really enjoy prose but this didn't seem like prose. or poetry. it seemed unsure and shakey. i have experienced severe anxiety before and i don't feel this quite captured what i felt, although i suppose it's different for everybody.
it didn't make me #feel # anything. it was just another piece.
i did like the first line, however.
I liked it, I wrote something like that a while ago...hm, PM me? I like you work and I'd like to get to know writers who have work I like.
This is called a prose poem. It does not need to be put into stanzaz, and it was written this way on purpose.
I don't suffer from anxiety, but I agree with Areida. MAKE IT INTO STANZAS!
Ok sorry. And yes dyslexic is spelled with a y.
I liked it, but please break it into stanzas so it looks like poetry!
I'm pretty sure dyslexic is spelled with a 'y'.
Okay, I am definitely not a poet, so the only suggestion I can really make is to break it up into stanzas instead of having it written in story form. ie:
It spins faster than a sailfish swims
It's as mixed up as a dislexic trying to read
Yet as clear as air.
But you don't realize
That this air is filled
With black smoke
Anyway, just a suggestion. I didn't vote, because I don't suffer from chronic anxiety, but I think you did a pretty good job with this.
~*~Areida~*~