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Boy of my dreams

by Regretnothing

I woke up with his arms around me. I could feel his body pressed against mine. I felt his breath on my skin, and it was amazing. I looked at his beautiful sleeping face, and took comfort in the fact he was mine. I felt so overjoyed when I realized I would have this every morning. I leaned over and kissed his lovely lips.

Waking up, he moved his lips with mine. His grip around my waist grew tighter, and he rolled us over so he was on top. Leaning down he placed sweet soft kisses down my neck, and whispered “I love you angel” once he got to my ear.

I was in pure bliss. My heart raced at his words, and I felt so much love for this boy. I brought his head to mine; stared into his gorgeous eyes, and said “I love you too my darling.”

Feeling my heart leap as he smiled that beautiful smile of his. I brought my lips back to his, and thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.

This must have been a dream. For when I really woke up; I was alone in my bed. I realized I still had a year and a half until I can be with that sweet boy. Tears welled in my eyes as the pain in my chest grew.

I feel so alone.

In my dreams he was so close, but in reality he is so far. I would give anything to have him here. To feel his gentle hands touch my skin. To feel his strong arms around my waist. I just want to feel safe, loved, and protected.

He is my future, and I would do anything to have that now.

I would do anything to have the boy of dreams.

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27 Reviews

Points: 12
Reviews: 27

Thu Jun 16, 2016 4:19 pm
MandlynProductions wrote a review...

Well, this certainly up's the realistic scale, but there are several problems.
For one, the statement "he was mine" is kind of offensive, in a relationship, both people should be able to preform their sentient activities outside of home with few distractions. The he was mine sounds like you claim ownership of him, which is to me, is really offensive to both women and men.
For two, it was obvious that the utopia that she was in was nothing more than a dream, invented by her to cope with his absence.
And for three, it sounds like she is far to clingy to appreciate anyone else of the same gender, sense, whenever a guy talks to the opposite gender, it has to mean that he is in love with her.
Maybe you should make a story where there is no hope for the girl and the guy to be in a relationship, and it sounds like the girl might be suffering from sleep induced hallucinations, other wise known, as wishful dreaming.

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17 Reviews

Points: 19
Reviews: 17

Tue Apr 26, 2016 8:14 pm
BaileyTheHoosier wrote a review...

It is a great, depressing, and tragic short story. The only critical advice I can give you is to avoid common adjectives. For example, instead of saying beautiful say gorgeous or illuminating. Instead of strong say vigorous. The mood could be confusing to some people, so if I were you, I would work on a better transfer from the dream to reality. Attempt to create complete detail on what was going on and how it happened. The problem could be that people don't understand the transition and get lost. It's a fantastic short story, and I'm sincerely apologetic if I seem too critical. Just work on a few minor tweaks and comprehensive expansion and you will be golden. Keep it up!

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17 Reviews

Points: 249
Reviews: 17

Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:52 pm
Regretnothing says...

Thank you all I really want to cry when I read this. Dream... It's a funny thing to me now.
It was a dream for the future.
It was a dream I was in.
It was a moment in my life.
The truth... He cheated on me.
He hurt me over and over and over again
When I woke up from this "dream" I realized how he really was.
I am starting to absolutely have this, but I refuse to get did of it... I don't exactly know why though.

Maybe you cry at your own story because this is related to someone you care about, and this is the way you comfort yourself whenever this happens,I can't say for certain.

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63 Reviews

Points: 17
Reviews: 63

Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:46 pm
Werthan wrote a review...

OK, why does this whole thing read like the narrator is having sex, but is so apathetic to the sex they don't notice, preferring to feel "protected" and "strong arms" and all that jazz? The whole tone of this is profoundly awkward. If that's what you were going for, though, well done. Also, you're not supposed to write stories that are just dreams. "It was just a dream" tends to be the most anticlimactic thing you can do (emphasis on "just", as using dreams can be fine if they have some implication in the real world of the story, like revealing information for the character or magically altering the real world).

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485 Reviews

Points: 21027
Reviews: 485

Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:57 pm
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Elijah wrote a review...

This is a very emotional and sweet romantic story.Your punctuation is on point as I see at least by first look.It is not anything so catchy as a tittle but it still worth it.Good job and keep on writing with such thoughts put in your works and emotions to fulfil the reader's expections.
I really do not find anything bad or negative to say about this short beautiful work so maybe this will be a review that is here just to give you a tap over the shouder to keep on doing your thing.It is like the story of every girl's dream and it is pretty relatable for most girls who are in similar situation.Anyways,touching story with a hint of sadness a bit before the end because in the beginning it's like we have a couple but when the chara (you) is alone.
Good job!

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Points: 1312
Reviews: 38

Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:41 pm
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nishthabawa2896 wrote a review...

HEY.... this is a beautiful piece of work. i loved it. i really like the work which is associated to love and affection. i must say that you know that how to keep the words in an extraordinary manner. i appreciate the things you have written. i must say that these things even motivtaes me to write more and more everyday.... these days it has become a bit difficult but soon i will come up with some romantic story.... loved your work... :D :D keep writing :D :)

Always do what you are afraid to do.
— E. Lockhart, We Were Liars