Distress in a White Dress

The thought today was going to the best day of my life went into flames. On the way to my wedding, which I was already late for, I got pulled over for God knows what, and I was face to face with another woman's panties in my fiancé's car.

Snapping out of it I pulled the registration from the glove compartment. The panties lay on the papers. In disgust I shook them off and they fell on the seat. Then I proceeded to hand the officer required documents.

"It says here that this car is registered to a Josh Clark," the officer informed me.

"Yes, this is my fiancé's car. Mine is in the shop." Then I added, "I'm actually driving to my wedding,"

He examined me, "For a women getting married you don't seem all that bubbly"

"Sorry but getting pulled over puts a damper on things."

He nodded, understanding my point. Scanning my car and me, he noticed my engagement ring, dress in the back, and shifted uncomfortably when he saw the panties. Embarrassed and without really thinking I shoved them into my purse to get them out of his sight.

His face went pink and he veered his eyes away. He coughed awkwardly and said, "Okay here's the deal. I'll let you off with a warning but don't think you'll got off next time."

"I understand, sir. Thank you."

Then he broke into a small friendly smile. "Drive safe and congratulations on your marriage." He turned to his cop car.

I watched as the officer drove off. I felt a bit relieved but all I could think about was the bright red underwear next to me. Not wanting to just sit there all day, I pulled off the road and drove off myself.

The whole ride there I felt...stunned. The terrible feeling of betrayal creeped in the background but the whole ride there I was numb as I commuted. When I arrived at parking lot, for a moment I just sat and thought to myself.

Don't even go in. He doesn't even deserve you. You should just stick it to him and leave him at the alter....with all of family and friends watching....

My heart dropped at the thought of disappointing everyone. Sure it was my day but people went through the trouble and cleared their schedules, bought gifts, and some forced themselves to be in the same room with relatives they don't like, just to see us happy. I felt guilty at the thought.

Sighing, I grabbed the wedding dress from the back, and reluctantly went through the door. The lobby was nice and peaceful and I savored it as I walked toward the elevator.

I went up three floors. The doors opened to a small hall. I walked three doors down to the left where my reserved room was.

The first thing I heard when I walked through the doors was Danny. "You're finally are here, Abby." She enveloped me into hug.

"Yeah," I said enjoying her embrace.

"Well, let's go then. We have everything ready." She grinned taking my dress from me. "Why are you so late?"

"I got pulled over."

"That sucks. I hope you didn't get into too much trouble with driving Josh's car."

"No it was fine. He actually only gave me a warning."

"Wow that was lucky. Why'd you get pulled over?"

"I was speeding a bit."

"Aww," she cooed. "That is so romantic rushing to get to your love sooner."

I got nauseous. Danny was such the romantic. Unfortunately, she doesn't know her brother was a big fat cheater.

Danny came back from putting down my dress. I sat down in a chair with a large mirror across from me and a cart of makeup on the side. While the other side of the room stood a full length mirror with a few chairs and my wedding dress.

She started to play with my hair. "Any second thoughts on your hairstyle or makeup?"

"No," I managed to say as my thought slipped into the darkness.

I am cursed. That has to be it. What, this is the third- no fourth time a guy has cheated on me. Everything sucks. My life sucks. I suck.

"Abby, please put your head down." Danny cut into my internal bickering and adjusted my head forcefully, sounding a bit irritated. "I know your head is in clouds with it being your wedding day and all but I need you cooperate so you can look two hundred percent gorgeous."

"Yeah gotcha," I breathed.

Oh Danny. I sighed inwardly. Daniel Carly Clark was Josh's lovely-amazing-but-hopelessly-cluess-sister. Not to say she was a bimbo but she was easily fooled and near illiterate to people''s emotions. Yet, I felt relieved because I didn't want questioning on how I felt.

Despite her lackluster ability with reading emotions she knew her way around hair and makeup. I watched as she was curling my locks making it appear so simple.

I then studied myself in the mirror. Did he cheat on me for my look? I thought.

According to my friends and other guys, it was unanimous that I was classified in the "cute" category of beauty. I was on the short side with long black hair and a little plump or curvy as they call it. The only thing I really liked about myself, though, was my green eyes.

I suppose it's not enough. Instead I guess I should have red hair, a lean figure, and rosy lips or curly auburn hair, a love for short skirts, and big breasts, or to look like Scarlett Johansson to make men stay. What is it going to be this time?

My heart dropped and stomach clenched just thinking about it.

Going back to that thought I also realized another pattern. All those woman but one had a deep, sexy, and seductive voice, Me, I had a "teacher voice" as a friend named it which was fitting since I was a teacher. The friend elaborated further saying it had three modes: explanatory, stern, and friendly. Explanatory was for lectures and talking to crowds being clear and filled a room. Stern was boat shaking and firm. Then friendly was more warm and high pitched. Of coarse none of them sexy because being attractive is only in the job description if you're in a porno.

It hurt when my three past boyfriends slept with other woman but it was an entirely different pain when I learned my fourth boyfriend had an emotion affair.

The first time I saw them together was at a park. I was on a field trip with the kids so I couldn't just leave to say hi. From afar I watched them for a moment. It was innocent enough. They had space between them and simply talked so I thought nothing of it. A week later I saw them at a movie theater and a coffee shop, alone. I confronted them at the coffee shop one day. He introduced her to me as his cousin. They looked similar and I refused to believe I was being cheated on again. Then I saw them kissing in front of a fancy restaurant. In one angry flash I made a scene, then broke up with him, and walked away. Another week later I heard they were officially dating. Ouch

Before I knew it Danny was done with my makeup. My hair was pulled into a tight bun while curled strands fell at the side of my face. I had a bit of pink lipstick and light eye makeup. The natural look was perfect, giving me a subtle glow.

Danny took my hand and led to the other side of the room. She helped me step through and put on the dress.

I stared into the full length mirror and I managed the ends of my lips to lift upward. My smile was not authentic but passable.

Smiling, she put on my veil and stepped back. She stared at me in awe and sighed happily.

The dress was simple. It was an empire styled with the waistline below my bust and the rest of the fabric flowed down to my ankles. It had spaghetti straps which crossed in the back. The bust area and ends of the dress were laced with a silver ribbon tied around my waist line.

There was a silence as Danny and I just stood there. It was interrupted when the door abruptly opened. Mom came strolling in and her face lit up when she saw me. Tears started to form at corners of her eyes. Her face became more emotional by the second. Then I found my cheeks getting moist too.

I felt the initial shock wearing off and began to feel angry and hurt over my fiancé's affair. The emotions were beating me like a hammer.

"Oh, honey," mom sobbed pulling me into a hug. "Y-your gr-growing up so fast."

I was losing my breath but I couldn't help it.

"Don't get to worked up sweetie."

I had to stop crying like this, so I tilted my head upward and thought of other things. Anything but Josh and those panties. I'd managed to stop crying but I wasn't able to look at mom or Danny so I peered at my feet.

I realized, "Wait, where are my shoes?"

"Oh my gosh how could I forget," Danny said.

I let out a little laugh. It made me feel better but only a bit. She smiled at me as I stepped into three inch heals.

The door opened again and Kelly and Jamie came in, smiles glued on their faces. All three of us got into a group hug. I noticed they were already in their bridesmaids dresses.

When we stepped back from each other I admired how they looked. I made sure the dresses were simple, pretty, and easy to move in. They were a silky and light pink, at knee length, and had a sweetheart neckline. With the dress they wore simple white flats.

Danny and mom stood awkwardly on the sidelines. Though mom smiled and said, "I'll be letting you ladies have your time alone." She left the room.

"Well," Danny announced, "I'm going to put on my dress and makeup. Oh and can one of you please touch up on Abby's makeup."

I sat back down in the chair and Jamie started to reapply.

"Oh Abby I know I said this a million of time but I'm so excited for you," Kelly squealed.

I smiled and nodded.

Yet, Jamie studied my expression. "Something's wrong," she stated firmly.

"Hmmm.....yeah, I've got the feeling too," Kelly agreed.

"No I am fine."

"Don't act dumb, Abby, I know that smile. It's the I-trying-hard-to-act-happy face but it fails,"

Figures Jamie would see through my mask. She was more perceptive than Danny while Kelly....was okay. Besides we grew up together. I shouldn't assume she wouldn't be able to detect how I am feeling.

I repeated stretching my smile, "Jamie, I am fine,"

"Don't give me that B.S," She scowled.

Jamie was stubborn as a mule and I was hating it.

We stared at each other in a thick silence. Jamie had her hands on her hips and Kelly was studying me.

It's not like I didn't want to tell them but once I opened my mouth everything shatters. Well, actually it was already shattered. Josh was the one who destroyed everything. It would be me to push away the curtain and reveal the truth but I didn't want to do that yet.

I took a deep breath and said, "To be honest maybe I'm getting cold feet." More like hypothermia.

Kelly shook her head but smiled at me, "Na'ah, Josh is amazing. You're amazing and you two are meant to be together so don't worry."

Jamie looked at me skeptically as if she didn't believe my excuse.

Danny entered the room and she looked gorgeous. Her hair was tied in a bun, lips glossy, and her eyes were twinkling.

"You look beautiful," Jamie complimented.

'I second that," Kelly added.

"Thanks guys,"

Then dad popped his head in the doorway. His eyes went wide at the sight of me and said, "It's time everyone."

We followed him and stopped at the entrance. There were so many people. Rows of guests sitting in pews. It was a full house of family and friends...and Josh. My stomach churned.

The groomsmen arrived and paired themselves with the bridesmaids. The music started. The first couple went down, then the second and then the third.

The wedding march began.

Dad beamed down at me like the sun and pulled me into his grip, "ready?"

I nodded and we walked down.

My heart stopped.

I was freaking out and I almost forgot to smile. I couldn't look at Josh's face so I focused on his tie instead.Thank goodness for  my dad's warm grip which kept me grounded.

We got to the end of the aisle and he let me go. My insides twisted wildly as I turned to face him.

The music ended and the minister began, "We're gather here to day..." he said. As the minister spoke I tried to keep myself together.

"Do you, Josh James Clark, take Abby, to be your lawfully wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, and whatever challenges you may face for as long as you both shall live?

"I do," he said. Gaze locked onto my face. A smile appears on his features and I think it's genuinely happy. Delighted. Elated.

And the way he said it struck made my heart shake and chest ache.

Maybe it was a quick and impulsive one night stand. I'm being stupid, overacting. He probably never even cheated on me. It was possible he was covering for his man whore friends. He did let Robby use his car a week ago. I was just a letting a silly piece of clothing blind me.

"....until death do you part?"

I felt better. Lighter. So I gave a sincere smile declaring," I do,".

The rest of the ceremony fallowed with this relief. He does love me. I told myself.

Cocktail hour started in a sunroom not too far from the ceremony spot. It had a really nice view looking over the ocean. It was a bit crowded, though, but more cozy than cramped.

Our hands warmly held each other as we mingled but Josh looked at me with a concerned expression and his hand felt slightly moist. When we finished talking to few of my distant relatives Josh finally said, "I need to talk to you."

This got me worried like he had a confession.

"Okay, shoot," I replied cautiously.

"I prefer to talk in private," he lowered his voice. "and I noticed you're a little bit off too."

"I'm fine."

He bit his lip unsure about his previous accusation.

"But I'm good now. It was just nerves. Life changing decision and all." There was a pause and I said, "Is my well being all you wanted to talk about?"

Guilt flashed upon his face — no I didn't want to see that. My delusion started to crumble.

"Let's just step outside,"

Obediently we walked toward the exit but were stopped by Mr. Henry Clark approaching us. He threw a wrench in our plans to talk.

Mr. Henry Clark was a man who you can't say no to or brush off. He was nothing like Josh, tough, no-nonsense, and made you pee in your pants a bit.

"Josh, Abigail, congratulations," he said with a minuscule smile meaning he was extremely happy.

Josh replied formally, "thank you father."

"Now that you are finally married, Joshy, I want grandchildren immediately!" Mrs. Maratha Clark, Josh's mother, demanded jumping into our conversation.

Josh stared at her from her request.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm hopeful you'll be working on it tonight."

His face turned crimson.

"Anyways," she turned to me. "I missed you two so much. Let's walk and talk and catch up."

We didn't have any time to talk privately during cocktail hour between Josh's father's intimating present and his mother demanding to know what is going on in our lives.

Josh and I were about to step out and talk when Kelly pulled me away.

"Is it okay if we steal her from you,' Kelly said.

"Uhhh, yeah sure," he said his face looking relieved.

Coward!

We walked back into the room where we got ready.

"It's looked like you forgot to change your shoes."

Our plan was we were going to change from our high heals and flats into cute converse sneaker so we could dance easier.

I peered down. "Thanks for the reminder but you already have yours on," I commented.

"I know but I thought I would walk you there,"

"It's okay you go off and have fun."

"You sure?" she asked. "The bride shouldn't be alone on her wedding day."

"No, I insist,"

"Um...okay," Kelly turned and left.

I entered the room and it was silent except for the rusting outside. I remember I had the shoes in my huge purse. I opened it and started digging through. Then I saw them. The panties.

That's it. That is what I'll do. When he tells me the bad news of being a cheating I will shove these in his face and tell him I knew all along. I gawked at them for a long moment then I placed them in my pockets of my dress and put my shoes on and hurried to the ballroom where the reception was held.

Josh was quick to join me at our table. While all the guest's tables were round, the wedding party's was long rectangle that overlooked the dance floor and the guests.

Already placed was a glass of water, champaign, silverware, and a menu. Beverages, four choices of entrées, and three choices of sides were listed.

I ordered the salmon with the salad and kept the champaign refills coming. I didn't have an appetite. I forced myself to eat the food but sipped down the alcohol with ease.

"I think you had enough," Josh commented.

"Relax, these glasses are small. I'm fine."

Despite my protest, he reached out to take my drink but I pulled and turned away and defiantly gulped it down. I caught eyes with Jamie who glanced at me concerned.

"Abby, something is wrong."

"No, I'm fine, Josh," I snapped.

He pulled back, hurt and worried.

Before Jamie could scold, a loud clicking sound silenced everybody. We turned our heads to Jacob who was standing on the stage holding a spoon and a glass.

"Attention everyone," he announced raising his champaign. "I would like to make the toast." His smile widen. "to these two lovebirds right here."

He began, "Josh, Abby as Josh's best friend it's been wonderful seeing you guys meet, fall in love, and become husband an wife. I hope you two a happy very happy marriage where you'll be two old people rocking back and forth with your rocking chairs and life support. A toast to the rest of their lives together."

Everybody around me clapped and "awee"and man did that really poss me off. I decided in my drunk hazy state I wanted people to know the truth and not be so stupid and blind. Abruptly, I stood up and wobbled out of my chair, "I would like to say something too," I slurred and stumbled my way to the stage. Everyone was staring at me and with that I pulled out the red panties from my pockets and held them between my index and thumb finger. The audience was a mix of shock and confusion. Except Josh. He was mortified.

"You may think I am crazy for displaying my underwear like this but it's not mine." I glared at Josh. "I don't know who's they are. All I know is that they aren't mine! Who do these belong to...Josh?"

He was paralyzed.

"No answer, huh? Well, you should know since I found them in your car!"

The crowd gasped.

tears started to fall,"Was I not pretty enough for you? Was I not thin enough? Sexy enough? Or did you just not like me?"

"Honey, please stop this you're drunk. You don't-"

"Screw you! Just because I'm a bit tipsy doesn't mean I don't know is going on!" I shot back. "But maybe you're right. Maybe I am an idiot because you know I should've just left you at the alter. Well, here I am leaving you at the ceremony!"

I storm out of the ballroom leaving flabbergasted guests behind me and hurried down the hall. But, then I hear the distant noise of footsteps behind me. Oh god is he chasing after me?

"Abby wait I was wrong," he called after me.

"Tell me something I don't know," I shot over my shoulder.

"I'm a drag queen!"

I slowed her pace, "what?" I breathed and then my intoxicated, exhausted body collapsed and I was on my knees,

Josh caught up to me and kneeled down beside me. "I'm a drag queen," he repeated softy. "Those were my panties you were waving around."

What a bombshell. Drag Queen. That explained a lot. Then I felt relief. A heavy burden lifted from her chest.

"Abby, I'm so sor-"

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed tear rushing down my face. After the relief came the shame and guilt. "I just publicly humiliated you in front of your family and your friends."

Silence came after my loud outburst and we just sat there in silence.

He carefully wrapped his arms around me and started to gingerly caresses my hair. "No, it was my fault for not telling you, my wife, my best friend," he said. "It's what I get for procrastinating and being too wimpish to not tell you."

I just sopped into her chest. It took a moment before I was able to croak out, "It's both our faults and we're both sorry."

He pulled me back and nodded in agreement and pulled me up from our uncomfortable positions. My whole body finally feeling relaxed "Are you ready to go in and tell everybody everything will be okay?"

I smiled and nodded, "Yes."