Published April 21, 2018
Here that
Clickity click clack clak clak.
It’s the taps.
Going clickity clack clack
Fingers quick
it's like music.
Sends shivers down the spine
Hear’n those fingers fly’n.
The words materializ’n
My heart’s a thump’n
From fingers and keys bump’n
Instill
the chills
The thrill
because still
the keyboard goes clickidy tac clack clacking.
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140,252 Literary Works • 673,073 Reviews
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said:
Well, the joy in playing the instrument is certainly conveyed. So in that senmse thepoiem succeeded. I also like the use of onomatopoeia:
Reminded me of the song at the start of the film: Kill Bill I
Bang Bang! You shot me down!
Unfortunaely I could not share the joy that the poem expresses concerning the clacking.
Why? Because there isn’t supposaed to be and lound clacking from the keys. Ironically that clickty clack you hear might be caused by faulty dampers. Mine has that flaw and it was sold to me with that flaw brand new. In any case, the tyrill; of hearing all that clacking comes through loud and clear. If the volume is high enough it might just be like a background thing. Only if the volume is turned down and the clacking predominates can it become annoying. Since I don’t have the luxury of using to much volume the clacking predominates. Now, If I had wanted a percussion instrument then I would have bought bongoes or drums. Or maybe even a tambourine. But my money was given for a keyboard instrument. So the poem just brought this frustration to my mind as opposed to the euphorious joy that it expresses over the clacks.
But as for the poem itself, it is written skillfully and I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Here that....[Hear....]
Thanks for the feedback, but I'm confused on what you're saying. I hope I made it clear that I meant "keyboard" of a computer not an instrument. I think you're referring to an instrument because that's what your review is saying...
I really liked this poem. I just got done reviewing a heavy piece so this light poem about typing is a nice change of pace! I myself like typing a lot and the noise it makes, so I really resonated with this poem. I liked the onomatopoeia you had with the clickity clack. My only thing is that the onomatopoeia you wrote was different each time. While although that is nice, you might think of making it all the same just for a sense of uniformity throughout the poem. Also, the rhyming scheme is a bit unclear until you get to "Hear'n those fingers fly'n". After that there is a clearer rhyme scheme, so you might want to just go over the rhyme scheme in the beginning. I really think that a consistent rhyme scheme will add to the fun of this poem if that makes sense. Finally, think about creating stanzas because different parts of the poems convey different ideas and just separating it into stanzas will make it clearer. However, I really liked this poem. It was a lot of fun to read and you really got the whole typing idea across and how it is to type. I really hope to see more of your work!
It was fun to read
Thank you for your comment. It was fun to write.
FantasyWriter76, or Fantasy76, if you preferred, here and I'm going to review your poem!
Interesting choice of words, if I do say so myself. Describing the sounds of a keyboard can be simple, but you put it into more interesting concepts with the vocabulary present in this poem. So while it can be simple to describe typing, the vocabulary here makes it sound more interesting, which is good.
I think you should really add more punctuation in this poem. Without the punctuation, everything feels like it's said too quickly. There are some places where it may not be needed, but you should at least put some punctuation somewhere. Also, I caught a minor spelling mistake when you tried to spell 'spine'. You spelt it as 'spin'.
Overall, good poem, good read. I give this 4 fingers flyin' out of 5
Thank you for your review.