Soft hands grasped me, lifting me into the air, sometimes into a soft hug, after all. . . That is why I was sewed, stuffed, and labeled as a huggable companion. . . The teddy bear,
I loved Maisie, though i was not made with a heart, I could feel the emotion of being a friend for her when nobody else was.
I remember the day, if I recall correctly it was her 5th birthday. I was lifted from the box, and into her awaiting arms, “I love it Mommy!” She squealed with the purest sounds of joy.
I was there, every day, every year, every first day of school, and every heartbreak. . . I was always there, for her to squeeze and let the tears of her fears and sadness sink into my hide.
But then, she grew. Her height, her beauty, her personality. . . It all grew, like the cotton that grew in order to stuff my lifeless form.
I was of no longer use, she had a boyfriend now, so i fell into a box filled with her memories, i could nearly see the tears in the doll’s eyes, but I knew.
I am Teddy, and and I was no longer needed, but my heart still beat.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
This...this hit me right in the feels. You've done well.
It's nice and short, so it's not boring, but I did get confused when it said,
What doll are we talking about here? Are we referring to another toy in the same box? Are there more like this teddy bear who've been tossed away and forgotten?
Anyway, as for typos/syntax errors/whatever they're called, there's a missing space in the sentence I quoted above, and in two places I've spotted that you use a lowercase i instead of I. If all the i's were that way, I'd have thought it a stylistic choice - the bear deciding to accept that it's not a living being and it using lowercase i to denote it's lesser importance - but since I see you have used an upper case I elsewhere, it might just be some typos.
Either way, this was a really well written short story. I liked it a lot, and the feels made me postpone this review until I could look at it without feeling too sad
Hey RedEyedRunt! Danni here for a review!
the tears in the doll's eyes nearly
First off, grammar. 'i' should be 'I'. You repeat this mistake several times throughout the work, so just be careful of that. Easy mistake to make and easily fixable.
Spoiler
What does that mean? What doll? *confused*
This was a really good idea, and I loved the end sentence. Just needs some more work for it to achieve its full potential.
Danni x
Great story!
It almost reminded me of Toy Story, when Andy goes off to college and doesn't have a need for his old toys anymore.
If you were to ever expand it, perhaps you could add a specific story of a time when Maisie needed Teddy the most, and how he felt.
But overall, great short story!
Hey,
I loved this so much!
I think you mastered the art of turning an inanimate object into something so relatable and loveable.
Okay, first off I really loved how the tone of the story changes from purity , innocence and happiness to one of almost resentment and heartbreak. I especially loved the line "like the cotton that grew in order to stuff my lifeless form". I found it so utterly sad that the bear was in fact lifeless. It's almost like its his moment of realisation that he is in fact nothing. Not a human. Not a life. And the sadness is really portrayed through that line.
I also really enjoyed how you were able to give such an obviously lifeless object such really emotions and problems that many of us face as people, every day. For example, the line "That is why i was sewed, stuffed, and labeled as a huggable companion" relates to very modern issues that people experience on a day-to-day basis-labelling, not being true to yourself, serving to please other people and not yourself. This all, in my opinion elevated the whole short story. Going into this I was expecting to read a humour story about a fearful toy but I am positively surprised.
I have no criticisms, but I hope that helped
Thanks for sharing