Chapter #5: Don’t Think About it

Noriko ran, and ran, and ran.

Never had she felt so terrified and helpless before.

At a certain point, she realized that nothing was chasing her. She wanted to stop running by then; her legs were starting to ache so badly that it felt like they were on fire.

But she couldn’t stop running, not on her own.

A tree ahead of her blocked her path. She slammed her hand against the bark, forcing herself to stop. The pain in her palm was stinging.

There she gasped for breath, trying to calm her beating heart.

Focus Noriko, focus! That was a tiger, right? In a taiga? That can only mean that they’re somewhere within Russia or Mongolia. That Panthera could have only been a Siberian tiger just from the habitat.

Good, good. Noriko knows where she and the others are. Now, she needs to study her surroundings.

And so she did. She scanned the trees surrounding her, the barely observable night sky, and the dark green grass. There was nothing worthwhile to note. Every direction she viewed was as similar to where she remembered herself to have been before.

…The others!

Noriko smacked her fist against her head multiple times. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! What was she thinking?! Running away from a predator only provokes its hunting instincts! Now everyone is separated, and who knows which of the three the tiger got to first…!

Not to mention that since everything looks the same within this taiga, how on earth is Noriko going to find the others? Where is she even? Did she run north? East? South? West?

She had no idea. She was alone. She was completely alone with nothing to distract her from her worries.

Noriko could feel her heart race faster and faster. Slowly she breathed in and out.

No! Don’t think about it! Don’t!

She needs to rationalize. She needs to think logically.

Ok, Ok. The best thing Noriko could do right now is wander for a bit. Maybe she’ll find a footprint, or perhaps a discarded shoe, or something that could lead her to a person. Traveling through this forest would be far better than standing here; she was an easy target for predators standing still.

She picked a random direction and toed between the trees.

The forest floor was a river of brown peat moss, piles of snow, and hidden rocks; she had to watch her feet with every step, as she was not wearing any shoes. Not even her tights would protect her from the stray jagged pebble, sharp enough to pierce through her soles.

The fresh air of the forest felt like it was slowly suffocating her. She tried to shut her ears to the oppressing silence, but it weighed further on her as she traveled. The canopy of the trees blocked out the moon’s glow, casting a heavy shadow over her.

Noriko's surroundings were…too familiar now. Was she going in a circle?

No. Think logically; Noriko was already lost. She can’t get any more lost at this point, so she shouldn't worry about it. There’s no need to be scared.

The silence was so uncomfortable and restless to Noriko that she clapped her hands repeatedly to make a noise. Her logic told her this was a bad idea, as the noise could alert predators, but her under-stimulation was so bad that she couldn’t stop.

At least no one else was here to see her do this. She didn’t have to worry about distracting or annoying anyone.

The stimming helped her calm herself a little, but various thoughts and questions she had pushed aside while focused on the others were beginning to surface; they bombarded her mind at every step.

Who am I?

Don’t think about it.

Why am I here? How did I even get here?

Don’t think about it.

How did I lose my arm?

Don’t think about it.

…I'm scared.

Don’t think about it.

Noriko smacked her ears and bit her lip in frustration. She needs to find the others. She won’t be hit with these intrusive thoughts as long as she has them to worry about.

But are they safe?

Don’t think about it.

Are they hurt?

Don’t think about it.

Are they dead?

Stop!

I'm alone! Alone in a forest with no one to hear me scream!

Just stop!

No one would bat an eye if I was killed right now! No one knows I'm here!

Stop it!

What if I do find the others?! Is there even a river nearby?!

Don’t think about that!

Are we all going to die?! Am I going to die?!

Just stop it!

Noriko collapsed onto her knees. Leaning her shaking body against a nearby tree. She curled herself up into a ball and rocked back and forth, clutching onto her torn sleeve and pulling at her hair as tears threatened to squeeze out of her eyes.

Don’t you dare cry! You’re better than this!

I'm so scared! I don’t want to die!

This is a waste of time! Just calm down!

I can't!

Noriko shed her first tear. As she sobbed out her frustrations and fears, she felt more than pathetic. She’d rather be dead than break down like this.

‘God, what're we doing. There’s no fucking way we’re gonna find her.’ said a toughened voice in her head.

...Huh?

‘Nous ne pouvons pas abandonner! We all have to keep searching, at least until morning!’ said a passionate voice.

…Who was...?

‘Espero que Noriko esté bien. ¡Tal vez ella ya encontró las flores que dejé!’said a youthful voice.

…'The flowers I left behind'...?

Noriko pulled her face away from her lap, wide-eyed and horrified. She must be losing it if she was hearing Brian, Diantha, and Aden’s voices in her head.

In front of Noriko's feet was a picked, fully bloomed wild rose, illuminated by a faint purple glow. Bringing her hand towards her forehead, she noted how the light morphed its shape as she trailed her fingers around the gem embedded on her forehead.

…Was…this her strange quirk? If Brian’s gem glowed when he destroyed the altar…are the voices she’s hearing real? Is she reading the other’s minds right now? Telepathy perhaps?

She placed her hand on the tree behind her and pushed herself up. It’s a long shot, but if that’s the case, then the others can’t be too far…Aden said he left flowers behind, and that’s a flower right there, so are there more?

Sure enough — upon studying the ground — a trail of picked flowers led forwards. Sprinting, Noriko followed the trail. The more she followed it, the clearer and louder the voices in her head became.

Halfway through, Noriko stopped, took a moment to catch her breath, and wiped her eyes with her dangling sleeve. She knew it would be obvious that she had cried her eyes out. At the very least, she wanted to make it a little less obvious.

She continued following the trail. Eventually, she saw Diantha, Brian, and Aden in the distance. Although the trees blocked a lot of the view, Aden’s yellow rain poncho was distinctly seen along with Diantha’s brightly colored outfit.

Brian raised his hand up and halted the three’s journey. He turned to Noriko, and Diantha and Aden followed suit. She couldn’t discern the expressions on their faces, as she was so far away, but it was clear that they noticed her.

Strange, like Noriko had stated, she was many feet away. It was highly unlikely that Brian could have heard her?

Aden dashed towards Noriko; the two met halfway. He tackled her — almost knocking her to the ground — and squeezed his arms tight around her. “You are fine! You are fine!” He shouted in glee, separating from her and jumping up and down in excitement. He twirled to Diantha and Brian. “Look! Noriko is fine! Noriko is fine!”

Diantha almost embraced Noriko the moment she got close enough. Observing Noriko’s stiffness and uncomfortable frown, she backed away at the last second out of consideration. “Thank god you’re alright. We were worried we’d never see you again!” She let out a relieved sigh. Brian himself nodded in agreement with Diantha. You could tell he was also at ease with the small smile that spread through his lips.

Diantha leaned closer to Noriko, scanning her friend’s face. “...Are you ok? Your eyes are kinda puffy.” She concluded with a hint of worry.

“Oh, um. I am fine,” Noriko quickly replied. She rubbed her hand against her left cheek. “I must have passed by a plant I was mildly allergic to. Nothing to be concerned about.” She’d never tell them she broke down crying. Admitting that would be so…shameful.

“You look sad. Did you cry?”

Noriko glanced at Aden, at a face filled with curiosity and concern. Diantha and Brian now stared at her with a similarly troubled gaze.

“…No, I didn’t. I’m fine, just a bit…drained from the running.” She gave another excuse, keeping a calm façade.

Diantha frowned at Noriko, worry still apparent on her face. “…Noriko-“

“Anyways.” Noriko changed the subject, raising her voice in an addressing tone. “Since we are all reunited, we should resume our previous goal: searching for a river.” Brushing the dust off her black skirt, she glanced between the three of them. “We don’t necessarily have any idea where a river is, but we have to keep going until we find one.”

Diantha and Brian glanced at each other before giving Noriko a pleading gaze. “Noriko…I’m exhausted.” small bags crept under Brian’s eyes.

Diantha moaned in agreement. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired too. Can we turn in for the night?”

Noriko considered Diantha and Brian’s languid postures and Aden’s half-lidded yet lively eyes. “After the tiger incident, who knows what else is out there. If we stop for the night, we’d be a prime target for an attack. Not only that but if it started snowing while we were sleeping…” She glared at the ground for a moment, thinking of all the dangers they could face.

…However, noting her own apparent exhaustion, Noriko let out a sigh and nodded, accepting their request. “But we can take turns keeping watch. Yes, If you all want to rest for the night, I won’t object.”

Brian let out a small sigh of relief, Diantha fist-pumped in triumph, and Aden let out a small yawn, a tired smile on his face.

“Alright then! So does anyone know how to start a campfire?” Diantha asked after the short-lived celebration.

A long, awkward silence ensued. No one spoke up.