CHAPTER-1
This is a video which came up recently, few months ago. It is an instant hit. Everyone is talking about it.
Do you know about this video?
Did you see the videos posted by the ‘’Bloody Guy’’ in the internet?
At first I couldn't believe that people also post these types of videos. I thought it is nothing serious but it seems like a black hole to me. Which sucks everything up on its way.
It is not serious but although also it gave me goose bumps.
I think it is a serious video.In the video he was talking about a virus.
What is this virus about? Do you know about it ?
Nobody knows much about the virus…….
It maybe something which is not authentic.
But,
There is something about it. Some are saying that it is evolving day by day, killing half of the people who block their way. As if they are just trash. But there is nothing on the news about it. This is something strange. If this would be a big hit then the media would jump in, scratch the surface and take out the information and reflect it in the TV. But there is nothing like this. Why are they posting these videos on the internet and why has nobody come to explain it all?
Even after everything that happens, when the whole world changes forever, when everyone knows that the video wasn’t a hoax, but the start of something terrible, people will remember the Bloody Guy. They would remember for ages together.
It’s like the last thing which everyone saw and heard before the lights went out.
One night the Bloody Guy posted a video on Youtube.
He sits on the computer table talking into a web cam. He clearly shows that he is crying, his eyes are red, like he has been crying for ages, he is shaking uncontrollably and his teeth are actually chattering. He is stammering and not being able to take a word out of his mouth. He kinda looks funny while crying, he can barely speak a word.
‘’ They are coming. Those bloody things are coming. They have killed Oliva, my little sister and they have also killed my parents. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do, I…. don’t know…..what to do….. they are now searching for me. I don’t know if they are still in the house. I think they have gone out. Those freak'in bloody things. I hate them, they are coming and these creatures will enter your house and scare the shit out of you. Please God help me. I can’t take this anymore. Please make them go away, please….
Then he took the web cam and showed us his lawn. His lawn was full of blood and few bloody creatures were eating a girl. I think it was Oliva. I almost wet my pants seeing this video. I wanted to throw up, this is the most disgusting and horrifying video I have ever seen in my life. But I still think these are fake and he should be getting an Oscar Award for his magnifying acting.
‘’There, can you see them, those bloody bits. There are more coming. Am I the only one in this house? I think I am the only one. I think I have to die here, there is no other choice. Can you hear them, trying to break in. I can hear them getting close to me, by Smashing and banging things.
That’s the end of it. He was shaking even more. It was just like an earthquake struck him. He then looked back at the door and then after shouting he closed the video.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hello there, Ranjana!
Honestly though, I'm very intrigued as to where you take this story. Please let me know when you post the next chapter!
Hope you're doing well. I'm here to drop off a review. Let's dig right in! Alright.
This is a super cool plot! The whole Bloody creatures taking away all the people from the Earth. Also, this virus thing reminds me of another virus... Hm, I wonder what it is...
I didn't see many problems in the chapter. Just little nitpicks.
*you - informal words in writing isn't suggested.
*these
Maybe delete "then"? It doesn't sound right. If you said this sentence aloud, you'll see what I mean.
The comma after if isn't exactly necessary. It's mostly just disrupting the flow.
Probably say that he screamed or something instead of putting it in brackets.
Another thing I did notice was that your pacing was a bit faster than liked. Maybe slow it down a notch? Put in some more details about how the main character is feeling. We didn't get much of that. More of that would be nice. Also you miiiight want to give this chapter the proper rating, because I don't think many people would be okay with reading about someone's sister literally being eaten by monsters. It's a pretty gory sight, to be honest.
Anyways, this is a great chapter! I'm very excited to see what happens next.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Interesting setup, I have to admit.
Although the general "found-footage" genre is usually not something I like in zombie movies, this one works surprisingly well.
I think it is mostly relating to how unclear and undefined it all seems. Judging by the title it seems that you are going to play it straight, with a rather clear-cut zombie invasion, but this first chapter makes it really strange, seeming like it could be a prank or a well-acted viral video. And that is what I love, the usage of modern technology to make the reader even more terrified of what generally is an overplayed villain/horror trope.
The first-person perspective increases what I already described previously, making us fear for what is going on from the pov of our future main character, used here brilliantly. In short, I really love what you did here, hoping to read more from you in the future.
Write your comments below and let me know how was the first chapter. If you find it interesting then I will post the next chapters.