Dear Old Lady Sitting On The Park Bench

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that this poem made me cry *thanks to the onions in the air* and also how this poem kinds reminds me of a painting of something of a person on a bench, head in hand thinking about the one they lost. Also i enjoy the tone of this poem as a sad grieving one (in the end) but in the beginning it is joy since you haven't cried for a year until the old lady had died.

Whenever i read a poem i try to help the writer/poet, to see if there are mistakes in anything that would need to be changed yet sometimes most poems are well-written that they don't need anything changed with them/ corrections needed to be fixed or something. Yet somehow, some poems, don't really need things changed with them since from reviewers or someone else, they have fixed these poems or sometimes, they ignore the help. You, however, have no problems in this poem since from the reviews from the past before this, i would assume you have fixed the mistakes in this poem.

Overall, I think (some) people have cried at this poem remembering the ones they have lost and then remembering they haven't cried in forever. Those are the types of poems i enjoy and other people might enjoy too.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

That made me want to cry, too. Did that actually happen? I didn't think it could! It brings to mind the song from Mary Poppins, "Tuppence". Is that what inspired you if it wasn't a real experience? It's such a touching poem..........would you write another one of those types of poems? I'm curious what else there is. Maybe you could do something based on the Mary Poppins scene with "Tuppence" in it.

Hello! Nice title you have for a piece of poetry here! I'm Brunnera.

I'd suggest putting the words: A/N at the beginning, and make your comments in bold format, so I wouldn't be confused. The rather sudden, italic-formed "poetry!" at the beginning made me think it was a part of your work. It took me a few seconds to realize it was your author's note xD

I read poetry aloud, so there were two stanzas that sounded repetitive.

" She did nothing,
just sang,
[and sat there.]

I [sat there,]
overwhelmed,
and lost my mind. "

I don't know, the redundancy made the poetry lose its steady, meaningful beat. Alter one of the "sat there"s to something else with a similar meaning.

Urgh, I think that's basically all the technical errors I can find! Time to move on to my personal thoughts of the poem.

First of all, I wonder-- what is it that made the narrator cry? I found it quite humorous that the unnamed narrator hadn't cried for nearly a year, it's as though he/she was trying to break some kind of record.

Perhaps, if you added some kind of description as to what the old lady was singing. give us a hint-- did it remind the narrator of his/her past? Or did the old lady herself represented somebody important to the narrator's life?

To simply write that the old lady was innocently singing, was innocently sitting, and somehow made the narrator break down...it confuses me, really.

Anyway, I appreciate the simplicity of your piece of work. It leaves me wondering, too. xD

~Brunnera

Hey there! Its me AnimeGirl to give this lovely piece here a review!

Follow me to the review.

I would like to start off by talking about the good then the things I think you should touch up on. The things I liked about this poem was the punctuation was good and the spelling, though i did want to say that the first stanza caught my eye. It was really good! The poem over all was very good, though maybe add more to the story behind it. That sounds weird, what I mean is add a bit more to the poem like more detail about it. I would love to hear more about the story behind it.

The things i wanted to talk about that maybe you could improve on were to add more detail, when ever you hit the 'enter' key make sure you capitalize it. Now i know that some people don't do that but i think it looks better. I do have to say that maybe it would look cleaner and just better all around if you made each stanza four lines, the last stanza would be an exception so adding five lines because it would be wrapping everything up.

So this is the end of my review, if you have any questions about it please ask. I really do like your poem, and i really hope to read more from you. Maybe work on the things i mentioned, if not its cool they were just suggestions i thought i might mention to you. Bye for now.

Keep writing!

Okay, I'm going to start off by telling you that this was an intense poem. I loved it a lot. It's short and sweet, but creative, and very interesting. It really made me think of all the times that I've ever been overwhelmed by things, and I felt it was so good, because I can relate on many levels. This poem is beautiful. Keep writing! <3