Published November 2, 2014
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know this rhyme,
and so do you.
There will be a time when all is said and done,
When even the roses will be deceased,
Everything will be eaten to the bone,
And deep in the ground, nothing will know.
So tell me now how you plan to live,
All the world will try to teach,
But no one will remember the thing that you did.
People ask me why I put pen to page,
Technology will move on,
Who will take to this stage,
Who is willing to tread the broad.
But what board will there be to tread,
Technology will move on,
All that will be left is a thread.
All that is spoken will be long unheard,
Pen to page will be long unread,
But not unheard.
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140,179 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
This is written very well, and it also has very great meaning behind it.
It was at times a little confusing though, but there is good word choice
I myself love writing and love that you chose to write about this
You seem like a very interesting person, and I love that you decided to voice your passion for writing.
There are a few things other people said that I do not want to reiterate, so I won't
Although there are a few corrections that could make this even better you have great potential,and ideas
Have a great day!
~KayKayKoala
I liked the meaning of the poem and your word choice, but as far as the structure goes, I was confused.
Several problems:
1. The first stanza completely messed up the meter of the poem and didn't seem very relevant to me.
2. Stanza two had an okay meter, but the rhyme didn't work. If you follow the rhyme of the rest of the poem, "done" should rhyme with "bone" and "deceased" should rhyme with "know", but they don't.
3. Each stanza had vastly different amounts of syllables and lines. This made it very hard to read because you had to figure out a new meter for each stanza that you read.
4.In the last stanza, "unheard" should not rhyme with "unheard."
5. In the last line of stanza four, you wrote, "Who is willing to tread the broad," but in the first line of stanza five, you wrote, "But what board will there be to tread." Did you mean to say "board" in both, or "broad" in both?
If the rhyme scheme and meter were fixed, this poem would be greatly improved. The words are great, but if they don't flow, it won't be as good.
Thank you, ti is basically saying that as technology moves on, the amount of interest for the writing slowly dereases as more and more people become less interested in what writer's have to say.
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I feel like I just read Shakespeare. That's a lot of thought, and I believe it might be hard for some people to digest it. But I think you just prophesied the future. I just have three things to point out.
:p
"Who is willing to tread the broad.
But what board will there be to tread,"
For the first line, did you mean to say "board"? And after that there should be a ?, same for the next line because it should probably be a lone sentence.
Besides that, great poem. Everyone on this sight is already a writer.
???? How did this happen? o_O
I feel like I just read Shakespeare. That's a lot of thought, and I believe it might be hard for some people to digest it. But I think you just prophesied the future. I just have three things to point out.
:p
"Who is willing to tread the broad.
But what board will there be to tread,"
For the first line, did you mean to say "board"? And after that there should be a ?, same for the next line because it should probably be a lone sentence.
Besides that, great poem. Everyone on this sight is already a writer.
This was fantastic! Writing has always been a passion of mine, and I am so lucky to have found a website where I see writing like this, and know that other people experience that same passion,
I loved this piece, how each word was so very thought out, and put into each line. It was magnificent!
Good job, keep up the good work, and let me know if you would like any advice on anything!
~Aarica
Hello poet! how are you? hope your well
you done a wonderfull job with the meter and scheme. That being said I would like to take a dive to the context of the poem, I found it very straight foward and thought provoking. I love the way you blended realism with philosophy into one single idea.
!!
Your talent right there is really worth me sitting and giving you the feedback on what you have penned. I really like the rhyme scheme and if you were to go through any literary forms and meters on the composition of a poem you would know what exactly im talking about !
"People ask me why I put pen to page,
Technology will move on,
Who will take to this stage"
These lines right here were excellent, it had soo much of meaning to it and I in particular, like the way you concluded that technology could do everything else but not produce Literature. I found it very smart and weighty on your side. On the whole I found this poem to be simply amazing and I hope you continue to write poems like this for us. Cheers