Published March 23, 2011
I am afraid. The metal knobs on the church doors glisten menacingly under the intense sunlight and seem to be testing me of my determination. I know I want to do this. But why my hands are shaking so much now? Forget it, it is time...
NO!
Why did I pull my hands back? I am ready, right? I am ready to face this. I must –
Damn it! I’m doing it again!
Come on, hands, you can do it! What do I have to be afraid of? It is supposed to be my happy day! Let’s do this. One. Two. Three!
Finally! After the third time touching the knobs of those heavy doors, I finally manage not to quickly draw my hands back as if they are hot iron and muster the courage to swing them open. There, I see her. I wonder why, out of everything else in this vast hall, I notice her first. Not the beautiful stained glass windows high above my head, not the torn red carpet below my feet, not the giant statues of angels and saints watching upon me, not the empty rows of pews surrounding me, just her alone is the center of my world. Just her, in a simple white dress, sits quietly on a wheelchair, watching me with anticipation in her eyes. Why is my heart beating so fast now? Am I falling in love with her again, even I have already love her so much?
I should not waste anymore time. I don’t have time. I need to walk faster. I need to finish this ceremony as fast as possible. Explosions...they are still far away.
I never knew the hall is this long. So many times I came here, practicing for this day, pacing back and forth upon this carpet. Somehow, it just seems so long today. How long have I been walking? Twenty seconds? Twenty minutes? Twenty hours? Twenty years? Will I ever reach her?...I will. No matter what may happen, I will.
The minister seems to be nervous...Was that gunfire I heard? How much time do we have left before they come? Stop stammering on your speech, damn it! “Marriage is a promise, made in the hearts of two people who love each other, which takes a lifetime to fulfill. Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's lover, teacher, listener, critic, and best friend.” I know that by heart, heck. It seems that she is enjoying this though. Her smile...I wonder how she can smile at a time like this, when death is so near.Then again, maybe that is why I am in love with her. Maybe that is why I want to marry her, to be with her for the rest of my life, to protect that little remaining hope within this world. But what can I do for her? Will I be able to make her happy? Will I be able to give her the hope she had given me?
The door! They are here already? Why now? Finish your part, minister! “Do you take her to be your wife? Will you love, honour, and cherish her, in good times and in bad, and do you promise to stay true to her as long as you both shall live?” Do I? Do I love her? Do I want to save her from this world? Do I want to live with her forever? Do I wish that none of this ever happen and we could be together in peace? Listen to me! Listen, you soldiers over there, with your guns firing at us! Listen to my profession of love in the middle of this dying world! I DO!
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I just realized that I have never written anything in stream of consciousness before, so I tried. 
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140,811 Literary Works • 673,693 Reviews
Overall, I think this was very nicely written as far as the idea of being married under such pressure. Marriage is a pressure alone, but the idea that it's during a time of crisis is what makes it interesting.
I did notice quite a few grammatical errors and things though. They were pretty thoroughly scattered, so I won't bore your eyes by distinctly nitpicking every little error. But I will give an example of one of those minor things that just stuck out as I read through this.
I think you meant to write this as:
[/quote]
This could have also possibly been written two other ways.
1.) "I know I want to do this, but why must my hands be shaking so much now?"
2.) "I know I want to do this, but why would these hands be shaking so much now?"
It's mostly a preference thing though. A few of your sentences are like this. There is also quite a few of these blaring errors that tended to disrupt the flow of the story. Some of your other reviewers might have picked a few of these out. But they're really not that hard to catch. I think if you went back through and reread this you would catch the majority of these mistakes.
That being said, I enjoyed your point of perspective from the man's view of things. It was well described and detailed for the most part. I could feel the anxiety of your character, and his conflicting thoughts were pretty nicely articulated. Your ending was also nicely tied up. His conflicing inner worry was resolved, and I suppose that was a basic element to your story. Good work.
Hi there! Let's get this review on!
you forgot an are...
watching over me makes more sense...
not sure about this one, but I think you want to change her to she...
and again...
sitting quietly makes more sense...
forgot a though...and love should be past tense or get rid of have...
I'm not sure what you mean here. Past tense might clear it up a bit. Unless you didn't mean past tense, and then...you probably mean past tense.
I thought the part at the beginning where he's arguing with his hands was very funny.
I do have one question about it, though. Why is the guy walking down the aisle? Maybe, in this dying world's culture, that is the way it happens. Or the girl's wheelchair can't go down the aisle alone. But if you mentioned it in the story, I think it would make the whole thing clearer, because at the beginning I thought he was the bride.
Sorry I got so nitpicky. I really did like it! Keep writing!
I think it would sound better if you said "testing my determination".
Why are my hands shaking so much now? or you can add "I do not know" and the sentence will be fine.
Just her in a simple white dress sitting quietly on a wheelchair watching me with anticipation in her eyes.
I love the idea. Curiousity drove me on. The whole time I was reading this, a thousand possibilies to why the character would be nervous to enter the church exploded inside my head. You could work a little on your grammar though, but grammar can be fixed while a person's thinking can't. Good job and may the pen be with you!
-Crescent