Dear Dad.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Well this was quite the powerful letter that you have here. You've done a wonderful job with really building up the whole emotional background regarding an event like this and I think you really do the whole thing justice and capture it almost scarily well.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I know that you said I shouldn’t contact you anymore, but I think that you should know what’s going on in my life. I mean, what kind of family doesn’t keep in touch?

Seems like a very accurate point to start thigs off with and its pretty good way to start off a letter. It definitely catches your attention right away.

I’m getting married- or civilly partnered, whatever- in a month. I got this really smart white suit made by a guy in London (Lucas is wearing a black one so that at least one thing is going to be traditional) and although it cost an arm and a leg and I’m never going to wear it again it was worth it, because people say it’s the biggest day of your life, and I want to look as good as I know I’m going to feel.

Well that's sounds like a very sweet little thought right there. So far its an awesome letter.

I even have something blue. Do you remember that Chelsea watch you gave me, before you made me leave? I’m wearing that; Lucas said that if you weren’t going to turn up, at least I’d have something to remind me of you. And to be honest, I think I prefer having a bit of my old dad, than the real thing. I prefer to remember you as you were, than how you are now.

Wow that hints at some pretty troubling times that he's gone through. You definitely get a very good sense of that here.

That said, you’re still welcome to come. I’d love it if you were there, even if all you did was yell at me. Just because you can’t accept me doesn’t mean that I can’t accept you. You don’t have to make a speech or anything- Lucas’ family are doing all the pomp-and-circumstance stuff. You’d just have to sit and watch. I’m not even expecting a smile.

Oh dear, you can almost feel the pain of that statement right there. To get to such a place I can only imagine how badly this person must have been treated. And the fact that he's not spiteful is also amazing and tells a lot about this character.

Okay, so I admit I’ve been avoiding the real reason I wrote. I’m just scared that what I’m about to say will ruin us forever. Please take this objectively, and don’t get mad. Mind you, you’ve probably already screwed this letter up.

Well...points for taking into account all the possibilities.

I was talking to Lucas’ mum the other day, and she started badmouthing you. It’s happened before, but I’ve previously always felt the need to defend you. I used to claim that you just didn’t understand, that you had been brought up a different way and in a different era. But this time; I don’t know why, but I wanted to join in. I wanted to agree with her. I wanted to say, “Yeah, he is an arsehole.”

Well that's quite the mental battle right there...

I was wondering why, and I’ve figured out that I have a lot of bottled up anger; all this stuff that I’ve wanted to tell you but never had the guts. When you kicked me out, I felt like I was a complete misfit. I felt that I would never fit in anywhere, that no-one would ever accept me. If my own father couldn’t see past my sexuality, then how could anyone? I started to think that maybe you were right; maybe there really was something wrong with me. Before you blew up in my face, I’d never thought that the way I felt was bad or evil. You planted that little seed in my mind, that seed that grew and grew until I thought maybe you were right, maybe I was disgusting. It got to the point where I almost feared myself.

Uh oh getting right to some very real thoughts right there, you're doing a wonderful job here capturing how its all going down in his head. Its a startlingly realistic picture that you're creating here.

I spoke to Lucas about it, and he said he had friends who had been through the same thing. Apparently everybody has moments of weakness; there are so many prejudices we have to fight against every day. He said that we are who we are, and just because some people still have the mindset that the rest of the world has grown out of, we should not have to hide. And I think he’s right. I’m happy with the way I am- no, I’m ecstatic. I love my life. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I don’t care what people on the street think, because I’m happier than I could have ever dreamt.

Aaand that's much better. That's again described really well, you can just feel the emotions slowly changing like that over time.

So I guess what I really want to say is that I don’t want to lose what we once had- if you decide that you’re finally prepared to let go and accept me, I’ll only be happy. But if you want to go along with the crowd who use gay as an insult and think that homosexuality is a sin, then I don’t think we can have that Father-Son bond. As much as I want to, I can’t be around someone who is going to judge my every action.

Come to the wedding, Dad. It wouldn’t be the same without you.

And wow, what an ending right there. We've got so much just amazingness in that one. It delivers a wonderful bit of a knockout punch style ending and its just kind of nice but also very much angry at the same time. It's just a wonderful piece overall.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this was a really powerful message and I honestly can't anything wrong with it. This is a great letter to be sending in a situation like this and I love the whole idea behind this.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Hello, darling! I'm Music.


Grammar & Line-by-line Comments:

Dear Dad[s].[/s],

I got this really smart white suit made by a guy in London (Lucas is wearing a black one so that at least one thing is going to be traditional) and although it cost an arm and a leg and I’m never going to wear it again, it was worth it, because people say it’s the biggest day of your life, and I want to look as good as I know I’m going to feel.
I'll just note that this is an extremely long sentence, my dear.

And to be honest, I think I prefer having a bit of my old dad[s],[/s] than the real thing. I prefer to remember you as you were[s],[/s] than how you are now.

We’re going on honeymoon to Rome; Lucas is an art freak, and he’s infected me with his baroque-bug.

And look at you and [s]I[/s]me now! Who’s the one living alone? Who’s the one stuck in a job he hates, surrounded by people he hates, and with an ex-wife who took all the friends?

Language Usage: Wow. That was really something! You combined the perfectly everyday-ness used in earlier parts with the more serious tone of the later parts wonderfully! Great job, my darling!


Emotion: It was really apparent, even if you're writing a letter. I knew how betrayed Nate felt, yet I also felt the love and longing for his father to accept him.


Characters: Even if it was a letter, I really understood the three main characters mentioned: Nate, Lucas, and Nate's father. Although Lucas' personality was the least described, I knew that Nate was in love with him and whatnot. The whole Nate and Nate's father bond (or past bond), I'd like to hear more about, but, you know, he's not going to explain that to his father.


Overall: Overall, I really liked this piece. It was very well written and captured the perfect amount of awkwardness, betrayal, and longing.


Great job, and good luck in the contest!

Love,
Music