Published July 19, 2012
Oh, should I travel through the woods
Or should I not wishing I would
For above me lurks within the trees
No one could hear my deathly screams
The palest man, the blackest suit
Bigger than the tallest brute
Six black arms will grab you up
Or, stalk you till you just give up
A top hat bares upon his head
Makes your soul fill up with dread
He takes you when you least expect
Boil you up, and eat your neck
He’ll leave your body not to eat
But staple your corpse on a tree
Fear the man, the slender man
For he can do, what no one can
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This poem is amazing! I am a fan of creepy pastas and Slender Man is super cool in my opinion this poem can send chills down your spine its amazing and the setup is also very interesting It is really spacious but the poem is amazing I love the rhyme scheme of it and the poem is very flowy and sounds amazing the poem has an eerie type of feeling and that is good because it can make the reader feel something while reading it just like most should. In my opinion, a story, book, or poem should always make the reader feel some sort of emotion, and that's what this one did. keep up the good work!
I love the poem! Slenderman is amazing and disturbing all at once; I remember reading this for the first time when I finished the game and wow, it gave me the creeps! I love listening to Youtubers when they read this out... there facial expressions are hilarious!
Scary
Wow. I definitely really liked this. The poem flowed very nicely. I love the rhyme scheme very much. The poem has a very eerie feeling, of death and longing. Longing because, the Slenderman stops at nothing til he has you. Word choice is very nice, "Bigger than the tallest brute." I loved that. I also especially loved the lines,
"Boil you up, and eat your neck
He’ll leave your body not to eat
But staple your corpse on a tree."
Overall I really good horror poem, for Slenderman being the trend. This poem, I thought, brought something new. So good job.
Wow. Okay, this one was thoroughly creepy. I'm probably gonna have nightmares tonight. THis had great descriptions, very impressive rhyming, and a general creepiness.
I especially like the part where you said, and i quote," But staple your corpse to a tree." That line right there is going to make me shake for the next few days.
Overall, It was fun to read, and it gave me what I want out of a horror poem. good on you!!
He sounds like a monster magian to me, with his top hat. Dark magic
I really like the flow of this piece. It has a nice beat, reminiscent of one of those old children's rhymes about boogeymen and monsters. The second line was a bit of a hiccup for me, though, because I couldn't quite understand it at first. "Or should I not wishing I would" felt like a run-on, like there should be a comma after "not." But other than that, I really liked this poem. It reminded me of one of those "Scary Stories" books. Good work.
Ah Slenderman. Its a great new monster that was made for a contest on the internet. A good scary one indeed.
I like it!
I HATE SLENDERMAN!
I love the flow. It just makes this poem sound professional,
" Six black arms will grab you up
Or, stalk you till you just give "
This is my favorite line because it just sounds spooky and i love spooky and scary..
The words you you chose in this were very clever , (lurks, brute, dread ) these words just add a mental image that sent a cold chill up my back....
Great job
-T
Well, your layout sure as hell is interesting. It's just so....spacious. It reminds me of your actual poem. It's very euphoric and floating freely. Your words are beautiful and I love your general theme. I love your title too; it's both cryptic and sensical at the same time. It makes you wonder what a slenderman is, but as the poem goes through, we understand why he is attributed his title. I don't have much to critique, but I'll just go through lines I thought were the best.
"The palest man, the blackest suit
Bigger than the tallest brute
Six black arms will grab you up
Or, stalk you till you just give up"
This is the definitive section from your poem: we find out about his appearance more. Even more so, it makes us read on. There is a noticeable juxtaposition. As an example, you start off beautifully, but end on a very violent note:
"He takes you when you least expect
Boil you up, and eat your neck
He’ll leave your body not to eat
But staple your corpse on a tree"
Yikes. That generally scares me. I hate to think what your other works are like! Very, very creative though. I love your mind, by the way. Your closing two lines are also really nice and refreshing to read.
Congrats on creating a generally terrifying and brilliant piece.