
Many years before the modern day, a child was born into the realm unlike most that his mother had already pushed out. It was not his abundant size, nor the thickset cropping of dark matted hair already running down the back of his neck, and still not the presence of a hereditary birthmark landing on his right hip that I speak of.
All his siblings before had come into the world the same way. Their mother, too, was a standardly large creature, but that is no surprise considering their De-Myrian lineage. Giants, most called them. To be raped by or to fornicate with one of their men was a death sentence, as any normal human attempting to birth the baby would undoubtedly be ripped apart, if she made it that far into the pregnancy.
No, I turn your attention to the child’s eyes, already open, already still and calm despite the tumultuous entry into life. So deep and brown they may have been black, observing every movement around him, soaking in the details of his family rejoicing, his father lifting him to the sky and proclaiming his name for the whole village to hear.
Gaermund.
The namesake of his grandfather, lost long before in the heat of war.
Destined to grow beyond what even his siblings several years older would do. I say destined, because all things have a purpose and a path, do they not? I suppose that is an arbitrary term, used by zealots and believers, both of which the De-Myrians were not. They worshiped iron and earth only. Inhabiting the Greater Forests, like their barbaric ancestors, mocked by their companion clans that chose to sit in ivory towers along the coast. Yet, when the cry of battle rang out, who would always be at the front leading the charge?
That is, unless it was to set foot on a navy warship, something few De-Myrians had ever done. Their distaste for the sea grew each year, and their love for the animals and the trees along with it.
Would it surprise you to know that between the day of his birth, and the day we watch him subdued in battle for the first time, only seventeen years had passed? I would fill you in, but tales of his swift journey into manhood and his many exploits have already been shared around campfires and in war councils across the realm, so you won’t have to wait long before you hear an accounting.
~
His hand twitched in hers, flexing open and shut, pinching knuckles in mild pain at every breath that seemed to be uncontrollably loud.
“Kysix, calm yourself, you’re hyperventilating.”
“What, I mean…yes mother….”
The boy sucked in a breath and held it for a few moments before exhaling gently to gain control of himself. A tinge of fear, stacked with an unbelievable excitement had been growing since the moment he overheard the news of the Great Bear’s capture. His mother, the Dutchess of High Fen Estates, gave his hand one final squeeze before continuing to walk with him down the long corridor, dimly lit as it descended into the basement section of the fortress, her long dress train slowly turning a faded color as it picked up the grime of unswept floors. She still didn’t understand why a prison had to always be located in the dark recesses of space, but then, she had also never thrown a man, or woman, into one, nor would she understand the meaning of such things.
Hers was a kind heart, benevolent towards all, exampled by the small basket tucked under her free arm containing a few cuts of dried meat and fruit, as well as a small cask of wine.
“Is it true?” Kysix piped up. “Is it true that he decapitates his enemies by stepping on their heads and tearing their bodies off? And does he really tie them between two saplings and let the trees rip them-”
She gasped aloud, nearly dropping the basket as they walked. “Ky! What terrible things to say aloud.”
“But mother I just-”
“I’ll hear no such things.” Now she gripped his hand tightly causing him to wince. “It’s one thing to hear grotesque tales from your father and uncles, I abide their tongues because that’s just how men handle war. But you have no reason to speak of them, especially around me.” Blushed lips pursed together as her mind tried to rid itself of the frightening images the boy’s words brought to life. “How in the world do you even learn of such things?” She added.
Kysix thought for a moment before answering. “It was in a manuscript at school.”
The wise choice, but she knew it was a lie. Boys always lie.
Two soldiers escorting them muttered something between them as they paced a few steps behind. They were nearing the cell house where the prisoners were kept, and as the torches cast flickering shadows, the sounds of rats rustling away could be heard.
“I want you to say nothing, and do nothing but look, you hear me.” Mother commanded child, to which he nodded vigorously, and began breathing quickly again. Guards saluted them, leading the way to a corner, exchanging simple words of greeting before unlatching the outer door and swinging it wide to reveal the heavyset barred fence that separated them from the cell hewn straight from stone.
Kysix leapt forward, letting go of his mother’s hand and peering his eyes into the dark.
No sound came from this cell. Was the Bear sleeping? All he could make out was a great heap of straw that made up a bed. As his vision adjusted he began to see the shape of a mountain of a man, lying on his back, arms stretched behind his head, remaining perfectly still. Wearing only a loose pair of pants, cascading lumps of muscle could be seen, with thick, dark hair covering most of the outer side of the man’s arms. Great tufts on his chest and abdomen.
Was he asleep? Kysix’s fingers trembled in joy as he saw for the first time a true and genuine fable, and it did not disappoint.
But Gaermund was not asleep, only resting, and listening. His ears sharply tuned to even the smallest of sounds, he had heard them coming long before. Yet, he did not move, even when his stomach growled as the smell of meat and wine filled his nostrils. Somehow his massive form seemed so docile and serene, lying there, soundlessly.
In fact, he had hardly made a sound or spoken a word since his capture. After the battle and his aggressive adrenaline hard worn off, he had been escorted to the rear of the enemy encampment, stripped of his armor and weapons, and spent five days walking. No fighting, no anger, because he knew the Azaralie laws regarding prisoners of war. He also knew what he meant to them, and it was not just the fear his captors felt in his presence that kept them distanced and wary, which gave him the utmost confidence.
He knew the price that would be paid for him.

- some concept art for your enjoyment -
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Canary word: Present
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Hello Again, My Friend!
It's been some time, hasn't it? It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
What The Black Eyes See...
So, to my understanding, the chapter opens with a fascinating description of the boy, Gaermund; his lineage, his traits, his people and place in the world, and a note about his legend. Then, cutting to the substance of the chapter, a young boy named Kysix overhears a story about the capture of the "Great Bear," and eagerly asks his mother about some of the stories surrounding him. She allows him to see the resting Gaermund in his cell, and the chapter leaves off with a mysterious note. Let's get into the details though.
Where The Dagger Points...
The content and structure were good! No complaints there. I did notice a yiny possible spelling error, here:
Traditionally speaking, "Dutchess" would be spelled "Duchess."
That is all ~
Why The Grin Widened...
Firstly, the concept art is very nice, great addition.
I really enjoyed the worldbuilding details at the beginning of the chapter, the little notes about the De-Myrian or "giant" people and their ongoing war -a war that Gaermund gets caught up in, himself, as this chapter goes on to show.
The note about how his legend is already popular in the world, followed by Kysix immediately asking his mother about those tales, was a nice touch to show and prove the point. Especially with the substance of that legend:
So grizzly ~
I am already curious about how Gaermund will be treated, especially since -in contrast to the stories that got told- he is acting so calm and merely resting. Where he will wind up? Will he cause damage to his captors, or will reinforcement come? Intriguing ~
Our
MadThoughts...Overall, nice addition to the story!
SWOOSH! Greetings, lovely Reese! Cupid here, armed with my bow, arrow, and a sprinkle of stardust for an enchanting adventure. Today, I'm diving into the captivating world of reviews with my very own Cupid's Sweetheart Spotlight. It's like the incredible YWS S'more Method, but with a dash of cupid's magic! Let's get flying, shall we? 💫
Fluttering Wings - Initial Impressions:
In the womb of antiquity, amidst the towering forests and echoing whispers of forgotten gods, a child is born—a child unlike any other. From the moment of his tumultuous entry into the world, the aura of destiny envelops him, casting a shimmering veil of anticipation over his path. His name, Gaermund, resonates with the weight of ancestry and the promise of greatness, setting the stage for a saga that transcends the boundaries of mortal comprehension.
Arrow Adjustments - Love Crafting Suggestions:
Alrighty, let's sprinkle a little extra magic onto this already enchanting tale, shall we? First off, let's polish those gems of prose to make them shine even brighter!
For instance, in the passage,
Spoiler
consider adding a comma after "grandfather" for better clarity and flow. So it reads:
See how that small tweak makes a big difference? It's all about creating a smooth rhythm that keeps the reader immersed in the story.
Next up, let's talk about character development. While your characters are already bursting with personality, there's always room to dive deeper into their inner worlds! Take Kysix, for example. He's a bundle of nerves and excitement, but what's driving those emotions? Consider giving us a glimpse into his thoughts and feelings as he embarks on this thrilling adventure. Show us his hopes, fears, and dreams in vivid detail, and watch as he leaps off the page and into our hearts! ✨❤️
Now, onto world-building! You've crafted a rich tapestry of lore and legend, but let's sprinkle in a few more details to really bring it to life. In the passage:
Spoiler
Consider expanding on the De-Myrians' connection to nature. Describe the sights, sounds, and smells of the Greater Forests—the rustle of leaves, the scent of pine, the call of distant birds. By immersing us in the sensory experience, you'll transport us to a world where magic and wonder are woven into the very fabric of existence!
Lastly, let's fine-tune those dialogue tags to ensure they're crystal clear. In the exchange between Kysix and his mother, consider adding a dialogue tag to indicate who's speaking. For example, "Kysix thought for a moment before answering." This helps readers keep track of who's saying what and prevents any confusion along the way.
Remember, storytelling is like painting with words—every brushstroke counts! So let's roll up our sleeves, dive back into the manuscript, and sprinkle a little extra love and magic into every paragraph. With your talent and imagination, there's no limit to where this story can go!!
Golden Harp Strumming - Heavenly Highlights:
Alright, strap yourselves in and grab your enchanted popcorn, because we're about to embark on a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions! Picture this: amidst the towering halls of High Fen Estates, where shadows dance like mischievous sprites and secrets whisper in the air, we bear witness to the heartwarming bond between the Duchess and her son Kysix. It's like a scene straight out of a fantasy painting, each brushstroke revealing a new layer of their unbreakable connection. 🎨
And then, there's Gaermund. Oh boy, where do I even begin? This dude is like a walking legend, draped in mystery and muscles. From the way he lounges in his cell, all calm and collected, to the sheer presence he exudes—it's like watching a superhero origin story unfold before our very eyes!! :0
But wait, it gets even better! Picture Gaermund's silent vigil, his ears tuned to the slightest whisper of danger. It's like he's a force of nature, this unstoppable juggernaut of destiny. And the best part? He doesn't even have to say a word to make your heart race a mile a minute!! ✨🤌🍷
Alright, I'll wrap it up before I get too carried away, haha. But seriously, these heavenly highlights are just the tip of the iceberg. With each turn of the page, I found myself falling deeper and deeper into a world where anything is possible. So time to grab some popcorn and strap in, because this adventure is just getting started! 🚀
Cherished Verses - Cupid's Favorite Lines:
This line is just pure excitement and anticipation! You can practically feel Kysix's excitement bubbling over as he lays eyes on Gaermund. It's like waiting for your favorite show's season finale—so much anticipation! 🤩
Okay, can we just take a sec to appreciate Gaermund's vibe here? The dude's is amazing, silently chilling in the darkness while everyone else freaks out. It's that calm-before-the-storm energy, you know? Plus, the description of his senses on high alert? Chef's kiss! It's like he's a predator waiting to pounce, and we're all just along for the ride. Talk about intense! 📜
Okay, whoa. Talk about gruesome—and totally riveting! This line had me on the edge of my seat, my friend. It's like a peek behind the curtain of Gaermund's legendary status, revealing the dark and dangerous world he inhabits. Plus, it's got that spicy mix of shock and awe that keeps you coming back for more. Consider my curiosity piqued! 🤯
Final Whispers - Closing Thoughts:
As our journey through the realms of imagination draws to a close, let me pause to reflect on the wondrous tapestry that has unfolded before me! In the crucible of conflict and the crucible of fate, the characters of this story emerge as luminous beacons of hope amidst the darkness. With every twist and turn of your story, I'm reminded of the eternal dance between destiny and free will, where the choices we make shape the course of our lives for generations to come. With a fond sigh and a flutter of wings, I bid thee adieu, until we meet again amidst the pages of myth and legend.
Sending you all my love and heart-shaped arrows, Cupid! 💘