Hi! Plume here, with a review!
Wow. For such a short piece, this was really striking. Something about the environment just gave this piece a really haunting but melancholy vibe to it. Combined with your stellar imagery, it made for a short but absolutely fantastic read.
One of the best things about it I think was your imagery. For such a short piece, you were able to convey so much. It was stupendous. I especially loved the parts about the flowers and the descriptions of Romeo and Juliet. It was also so fascinating to hear it from Rosaline's perspective, since she's a rather minor character in the play. She was an ex to the man in one of the most famous literary couples of all time, which kinda serves some symbolism (I can't think exactly of what right now, but it just seems symbolic). I think you were able to convey that in her thoughts as well, given you referred to Romeo as Romeo and Juliet as the girl. She obviously doesn't know Juliet as well, and might harbor some resentment towards her, too.
Specifics
In the centre of this silent palace of the dead lay two bodies, veiled in a silk like woven ice. Trails of petals ran across the floor, all leading to the pair framed by further flowers. Scarlet chrysanthemums, orchids like snow and roses; woven into their hair and pressed into their hands, they were encircled by thousands upon thousands of roses; each bouquet given as a gift of grief.
This whole paragraph seemed a little stunted to me. It didn't flow as nicely as the other ones. I'd suggest maybe looking over it and breaking up the sentence that has a lot of semicolons in it. Some parts that I was confused about were "veiled in a silk like woven ice" and "Scarlet chrysanthemums, orchids like snow and roses." I had to read over those bits a couple of times before the meaning sunk in, as your wording/lack of commas was slightly confusing.
Other than that, this work was phenomenal. I think for such a short piece, you've done a tremendous job at it. Keep writing!!
Points: 81482
Reviews: 672
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