Hello, Stormblessed here!
This is a very clever story! It's an interesting outlook on the origins of milk. (almond or otherwise.)
Your grammar and spelling are pretty good, so there's not much to correct there.
One thing I would suggest is about this sentence:
“HEY! SIS!”
I know that you wrote it that way to portray the fact that he was shouting, but get more creative with it. Something like: "'Hey, Sis!' A loud voice broke into her thoughts, startling her."
It looks nicer than just writing it in all caps.
One other thing:
bring it up to the height of a twin skyscraper opposite it.
I would put a "the" where the "a" is now.
Other than those, this was great! Great job!
Hope this helped!
Stormblessed242
Points: 5578
Reviews: 120
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