Tournament

by Questio

Published September 15, 2013

In Fantasy Stories

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The day was unseasonably hot, the breeze refreshingly cool. The dirt was dry and gritty, showing no signs of the rains of winter a mere month ago. The sun beat down, mercilessly drying up everyone and everything under it.

Gerard lifted his water-pouch to his lips, the lukewarm liquid dripping down his chin to his gleaming armor. Angus, his squire, wiped it off with his polishing rag, the new armor almost blinding him. In the hot sun, not only did the armor become like a cook's oven, but it reflected the light like a looking glass.

"Just a few more touch-up, and you'll be ready sir."

Angus made his way out of the shade of the awning, leaving Gerard alone. The tired knight sat down and tried to watch the jousting. It was down to Maximus the Eagle, and Derrick the Bear. The two other Houses, Serpent and Boar, had already been eliminated from the tournament, both by Gerard. He was determined that the Lion's name be redeemed from the last great tournament.

Maximus and Derrick pulled their mounts to face each other. Both horses were adorned with flowing cloths the colors of their Houses: Blue for the Eagle, Orange for the Bear. The riders themselves were staring down their opponent, each trying to intimidate the other. Finally, the jester pulled his flag, signalling the start of the joust.

With a ferocious yell, Maximus kicked his steed into action. Derrick, not a heartbeat after, lowered his own lance and charged.

As Gerard watched, he once again got the feeling that not all was normal in a joust. Time seemed to slow as the horses raced to pass each other, their riders each determined to knock the other off. The whole thing really lasted only about seven seconds, but watching, you would swear it took minutes for Derrick's lance to jab into Maximus's gut, wrenching him out of the stirrups onto the rocky ground. Maximus's own lance scraped across the Bear's chestplate, sparks flying in slow-motion.

"Winner!" The jester cried, holding Derrick's hand high as he dismounted triumphantly. The crowd roared in both delight for the Bears and dispair for the Eagles. Maximus rolled about on the ground moaning in pain, his aides helping him up and bringing water.

Gerard stood and made his way to the stables as Derrick gloated his victory, the crowd eating it up. Eventually, the roars died down as the jesters entertained them until the final joust.

Gerard reached his destination, and he moved to his own horse, Mercury. As he stroked the horse's white mane, footsteps approached him. A lady's footsteps.

"You shouldn't be here, Princess," he said, well aware that his voice was gravelly and hoarse from the day.

"Gerard, you know what happens if you lose. Derrick will marry me, Bear House will take control of Dragon House, and Lion House will go home in shame again."

Gerard turned to look at Princess Isabella. She was so beautiful. Her long auburn hair, her large green eyes...

"I will not lose," he told her, stepping forward to hold her.

"How do you know, love?" She said, drawing closer to him. He couldn't feel her hands on his armor, but he still enjoyed it.

"Because," he whispered, leaning in to her ear. "I have you to fight for."

Five minutes later, Gerard was on Mercury, the sun bouncing off his armor making him look like a human campfire. Derrick was still pacing his horse in front of the stands, eating up the crowd's praise. The jester finally signalled him to get in place, and he did so, glaring at Gerard. Gerard met his gaze without blinking. Come on. Lets see how you like the taste of dirt...

"Ladies! Sires!" The jester's voice reduced the crowd's roar to a buzz. "For hundreds of years, the Houses of Dragon, Bear, Eagle, Serpent, Boar, and Lion have competed for control of this mighty kingdom. This tradition is what brings us here today, to see who will rule us in the next generation! Now it is down to two of the best. Fighting for Bear House we have.... Derrick the Mighty!" The crowd exploded, shouting praise and insults at the smirking knight. "And fighting for Lion House.... Gerard the Noble!" This time, the cheering was much less enthusiastic, save for one. Gerard smiled at Isabella, standing in her viewing tower and waving.

"The winner of this final joust shall win the hand of the lovely Princess Isabella the Generous of Dragon House, the current rulers," the jester went on. "Now, with no further delay...."

The crowd was completely silent. The wind had stopped, even the birds had quieted. The only sound heard by anyone was the flapping of the jester's flag.

"JOUST!"

Gerard reared his horse and charged, Derrick's lance looming in his vision from across the field. The crowd's roaring went unheard. The sun no longer seemed to shine. All that mattered was the weight of his lance as Gerard lowered it and the rhythmic pounding Mercury's hooves.

Then, with a jarring thud, Gerard's lance snapped with the impact it had on Derrick's shoulder. In the same instant, Gerard was launched from Mercury's back by a seemingly unstoppable force. Derricks own lance scraped his midsection, and Gerard blacked out for a brief moment when he hit the ground.

Gerard made his way to his feet as Derrick did, both men unsheathing their swords. Both combatants had fallen off their horses, so the rules of the match changed.

It was now to the death.

With a ferocious yell, Derrick lunged, arcing his sword high and bringing it down like a mace. Without a shield, all Gerard could do was jump to the right, bring his own blade around at the level of Derrick's neck. The Bear ducked down, rolling with his momentum away from Gerard. With only a few seconds to spare, Gerard ripped off his helmet. Not a moment later, Derrick swung again, but Gerard used the helmet to swat it away. Gerard stabbed at his midsection, but Derrick leaped aside, just barely parrying away the oncoming steel. Both men backed away, circling eachother. Derrick's shoulder had begun to bleed where the lance had struck, and Gerard was wheezing with every labored breath.

Derrick suddenly charged forward, yelling at the top of his lungs. Instead of swinging his sword, he simply kept it level in front of him where it easily parried Gerard's counter-lunge. With an impact that made Gerard see stars, Derrick knocked him to the ground yet again, where he stepped on his sword-hand, pinning the gasping Lion. Leering at the crowd, Derrick removed his own helmet, waving his arms around to the joy and dismay of the spectators. He's not going to kill me, Gerard thought. He's going to showboat and humiliate Lion House.

His fears were confirmed when the gloating knight brought his helmet down on Gerard's face, blood spurting onto it from his nose. And again, this time cutting a gash over his left eye. And again, bruising his right cheek and knocking out some teeth. His head spinning, ears ringing, and vision shifting, Gerard looked across the dry dirt to the one bit of clarity he could make out. Angus was on his knees, his hands covering his eyes and pulling on his bright red hair. Above him, Isabella was watching with a look of pure horror, her beautiful eyes wide.

Gerard closed his own eyes, the cold steel blade at his throat pressing harder and harder. Gerard relaxed his muscles and...

His steel vembrace blocked the sword where it hit his raised arm. Derrick had been so cocky about the sword-hand, he didn't even consider Gerard's left. The blade bounced off his vembrace, driving down into the dirt just inches from Gerard's head. Releasing his sword, Gerard's right hand clamped around Derrick's foot, while the left arm drove itself into his gut. With a mighty heave, Derrick was flying through the air, landing in a pile just yards away. Before he could get up, Gerard lunged at him, his forearm pinning his throat.

"No- Please- I'll do anythi-" Derrick croaked. Gerard clutched the only weapon in arms-lenght: a splinter of his lance the size of a hunting dagger.

"Lion House is nothing," Derrick spat, abandoning his blubbering. "You will drive this kingdom to the ground."

"No," Gerard said, raising his makeshift knife. "Only you."

Comments & reviews · 7

User avatar
OliveDreams
Review
OliveDreams wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hello! I've come to be more nosey for Team Rouge and this amazing review day! I will provide you with a delightful review sandwich in just a jiffy :)

First things first, the things I liked;

I love the line; “Both horses were adorned with flowing cloths the colors of their Houses: Blue for the Eagle, Orange for the Bear.” - Great description that gives us clear, key information that we need to know. Exactly what I like to see :)

I think the imagery in your opening paragraph is simply wonderful yet I wish you varied the sentence openers. Using The all the time can be a little boring.
And now onto constructive criticism;

I'd like to see a little more insight into how the jousters are feeling. I.e adrenaline shooting through the veins or their hearts threatening to burst out of their chest? Even the feelings of the spectators would be good. I want to feel that fear and excitement.

The action was great but would have liked a little more background information about the Princess and so on.

Good luck & keep writing!

Olive <3

User avatar
aliceceleste
Review
aliceceleste wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hi there,
This was much better than I expected when first reading it. I would have loved some background information on Princess Isabella and Gerard, maybe Gerard could have had some memories or flashbacks?
The writing flowed well, and the grammar in general was very good- I couldn't spot any major errors. You also presented the characters very well, although I would have liked to know a little more about them.
Overall, a very lovely piece of writing! I look forward to seeing more of your work.

User avatar
Gravity
Review
Gravity wrote a review Review · Sep 16, 2013

I loved this story. At first, I thought it was just going to be about a bunch of sexist pigs fighting over some princess. Then, when I learned that Gerard actually loved Isabella, it made the story that much better.
I love the action, however, I would've liked to hear more about Gerard's thoughts on Isabella. It seems that his love for her is only mentioned once. If that's truly what motivates him, it should be present throughout the story. Some background on that would've been great.
Other than that, I thought the story was perfect. I really enjoyed reading it, and I especially love your choice of names.

User avatar
PeanutPhoebe
Review
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review Review · Sep 16, 2013

ok, my last comment was supposed to be review, (i'm trying to get some points so i can post my first work) so i'm gonna paste it here...i do mean all of that tho, not just posting it for points...

"It could have a better start and ending. Once you get going, it flows pretty well, but it could probably use a little more explanation and descriptions to tell about the story a little more...but otherwise, it is really very interesting... it kinda draws you in, making you want to learn more...i like it, but it could use some more descriptions and things. plus the start and ending"

User avatar
PeanutPhoebe
Comment
PeanutPhoebe commented Comment · Sep 16, 2013

It could have a better start and ending. Once you get going, it flows pretty well, but it could probably use a little more explanation and descriptions to tell about the story a little more...but otherwise, it is really very interesting... it kinda draws you in, making you want to learn more...i like it, but it could use some more descriptions and things. plus the start and ending

Random avatar
L5na2
Comment
L5na2 commented Comment · Sep 16, 2013

It was a little slow at the beginning but picked up as you went along which I loved. This was a magnificently written piece so thank you for that. Gerard was as lovable a character as Derrick was unloved by the reader(at least for me). This felt like just a taste of what is to come from this story so I can't wait to read more!

User avatar
Auxiira
Comment
Auxiira commented Comment · Sep 15, 2013

This seems a lot like GoT, with Lion house and Dragon house and all... *muses*



If I had control over the quote generator, I feel like I would put half of YWS in it.
— Kaia