Published March 31, 2012
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139,679 Literary Works • 672,648 Reviews
Hey dove! While I was reading this, I noticed that you do not state what the war is over. That was a smart move because it adds a level of mystery to the poem. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I sense an underlying theme of love. If it is love, I like how you kept it subtle. It's like the thread on a shirt, you can't always see it, but without the thread the shirt would fall apart. As far as grammar goes, you have some corrections to make. In the fifth line, you misspelt 'against'. I would take out the comma after yet in the sixth line. You also need to add in some punctuation in various places throughout the piece to help improve the flow and prevent run-on sentences. I would also advise you to be more consistent regarding the capitalization of the first word of each line. This is a good start, you just have to clean up the poem a little bit grammatically.
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