Love. It's all i think about!!

by PurpleEurope

Published September 8, 2011

On rainy days, I cannot smile.
The sun's been gone for quite a while.
But when I see your smiling face,
And those eye's start to twinkle,
I undergo a change of pace;
So let's let the rain sprinkle.

Comments & reviews · 5
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SteppinRazor
Comment
SteppinRazor commented Comment · Sep 9, 2011

This was cute! Great rhyme although it was a bit short, but it was perfect anyway.

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Mikko
Review
Mikko wrote a review Review · Sep 9, 2011

This was a nice and simple little poem. Very quick but there's nothing wrong with that.

THIS made my day (my night actually...)

Just realized i effed up the rhyme scheme.... shiitttt

Hahahaha, you know you should control your language. I personally have nothing against it but we have little ones wandering about. Just click 'edit' if you need anything changed or edited.

Well, this was a useless review so I won't be wasting your time any longer.

Keep writing!

- Mikko.

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alwaysjustme
Comment
alwaysjustme commented Comment · Sep 8, 2011

It's a sweet poem. I like it a lot. Nice job!

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Audy
Review
Audy wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2011

Hello PurpleEurope,

Hehe, I actually like your title for this piece which was what drew me to it ^^; I think it's cute and it suits the poem itself. So we both know the rhyme scheme changes in the middle of it :P Regardless, your point comes across quite clearly. It's all very cute and sweet and makes me smile.

eye's - should be 'eyes' you want plural, not possessive/contraction

I undergo a change of pace;
So let's let the rain sprinkle.

You want a semicolon, or a period here. Your last line is a complete sentence; it can stand alone. This means a comma in this case would be too weak.

Great job ^^ And also you can always go back to edit it, just click on the "edit" button at the top right corner.

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PurpleEurope
Comment
PurpleEurope commented Comment · Sep 8, 2011

Just realized i effed up the rhyme scheme.... shiitttt



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