Published October 10, 2005
Samsara
Senator Sky,
A letter arrives, informing you that there is hurt.
Trembling through the mail systems, arrives
a tear-stained letterized cry.
Dabbed with blood, insurance that it’s real.
Petitioning your career to, for your soul,
stop.
The taxi’s windshield is pelted by sleet.
but dinner is still boiled lobster.
Marble pillars stand, silently erect,
seeing all.
Hear
and feel
the wavelength of fear;
Rape.
Blood.
A trumpet blows, horn sings of glory,
and the civil war vets stand
celebrating world-war-ones-to-come,
decorated in full attire and staring into the sky,
a blue and silent and empty sky,
interrupted by a flag
that stands for power.
Rape.
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Hey,
This is a very strange piece, which means I loved it.
I think this is the strongest stanza, and I think your weakest is your last. Your last stanza seems to have lest humph than the rest of your piece and the emotions seem to die a little bit.
Your flow is nice, but it is still staggered in places which should be looked at.
PM for anything.
~Retro Disco666
I didn't get it, but it was written well enough for me to like it anyway. Apart from that, I can't really comment. Strong piece.