I think I miss you more
than I care to admit
I never used to think about you
You were just another kid
What have you done to me?
Don't play hide and seek
You know I probably feel something for you
So tell me how to
Wake up, wake up, wake up
From this crazy dream
So tell me how to
Go back, go back, go back
To how things used to be
I wouldn't quite call it love
Just a sort of longing
All I wanted was to close that gap
Fill that space where you used to be
What have you done to me?
Don't play hide and seek
You know I probably feel something for you
So tell me how to
Wake up, wake up, wake up
From this crazy dream
So tell me how to
Go back, go back, go back
To how things used to be
I’m a logical type of person
Always looking for the explanation
Are answers too hard
For you to give to me?
What have you done to me?
Don't play hide and seek
You know I probably feel something for you
The thing is
I've never felt this way
I've never wanted something so much
It's not like I love you (Really?)
It's not like I do
I just feel kind of strange
Not being around you
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
It's a very nice song, with a relatable meaning. Everyone feels this type of feeling, it's simply naturally. I love the way you refer to it as 'hide and seek,' don't know why, I just love that. Well written, however some parts need to be elaborate, though not by much. The word choices is nice, however in a few parts there's other words you can use so that it fits the flow better. Overall: Nice job, and I hope to read your work again.
This song is so relatable for many people. Reading this, I can feel the emotion that you poured into these words. If this is meant to be a song, I would recommend splitting the lyrics into verses. Keep up the good work!
Hey, I am princess and I am here to review your work. It's not my intention to offend you. Apologies if I do.
First thing that I would like to say about your work is that it is really a beautiful song and is wonderfully written. What you have written is quite relatable since we all experience longing for someone or the other who has gone far away from us.
' I think I miss you more than I care to admit.
I never used to think about you, you were just another kid.'
The above lines give your song a prominent and a good start and no doubt about it. It gives me a feeling that the writer cannot help himself or herself thinking about the person she probably loved. She or he doesn't want to admit that she loved him more than she thinks she is. There is a sense of longing for the person whom she used to admire. Though she says that they were just best friends and nothing more than that, but she cannot deny the fact that she had fallen love with him. This is why she feels her absence so deeply, but she is unable to understand this.
' so tell me how to wake up, wake up, wake up.
From this crazy dream. So tell me how to go back, go back, go back to how things used to be.'
I like these lines since in these, you have emphasised quite a lot. But perhaps you could elaborate your crazy dream a bit more. In these lines, the writer is seeking for answers but she is getting none.
' i wouldn't call it love just a sort of longing' In these lines the writer seems a little bit confused what to call it. NO doubt it is love! And no doubt it is more than liking.
' it's not like I love you ( really?)
Its not like I do.
Just feel a kind of strange. Not being around you.'
In these lines the writer gives a hint that she really loved him. I really like it when she questions herself 'really?' like she is ready to confess it.
All together this is a nice song.
Hey, I am princess and I am here to review your work. It's not my intention to offend you. Apologies if I do.
First thing that I would like to say about your work is that it is really a beautiful song and is wonderfully written. What you have written is quite relatable since we all experience longing for someone or the other who has gone far away from us.
' I think I miss you more than I care to admit.
I never used to think about you, you were just another kid.'
The above lines give your song a prominent and a good start and no doubt about it. It gives me a feeling that the writer cannot help himself or herself thinking about the person she probably loved. She or he doesn't want to admit that she loved him more than she thinks she is. There is a sense of longing for the person whom she used to admire. Though she says that they were just best friends and nothing more than that, but she cannot deny the fact that she had fallen love with him. This is why she feels her absence so deeply, but she is unable to understand this.
' so tell me how to wake up, wake up, wake up.
From this crazy dream. So tell me how to go back, go back, go back to how things used to be.'
I like these lines since in these, you have emphasised quite a lot. But perhaps you could elaborate your crazy dream a bit more. In these lines, the writer is seeking for answers but she is getting none.
' i wouldn't call it love just a sort of longing' In these lines the writer seems a little bit confused what to call it. NO doubt it is love! And no doubt it is more than liking.
' it's not like I love you ( really?)
Its not like I do.
Just feel a kind of strange. Not being around you.'
In these lines the writer gives a hint that she really loved him. I really like it when she questions herself 'really?' like she is ready to confess it.
All together this is a nice song.
Hello there, and welcome to YWS! I'm Arden, and I'm here to leave you a review!
[I find it easier analyzing works from top to bottom so my comments aren't scattered all over the place, so let's go ahead and start by doing that!]
This is an interesting start to this song. I think a lot of us as humans have experienced something relatively close to this feeling, and you addressing it makes me curious and intrigued to learn more about the person you seem to be describing. Good start!
This part confused me a bit. I don't exactly understand what you're meaning by "hide and seek". Do you mean that the alleged love interest is out of your reach? I'd appreciate a bit more elaboration in that section. The next line adds to the confusion-
because it doesn't seem to contain the elaboration that would make sense of the "hide and seek".
Now, this is interesting. It seems that the singer of the song is denying true feelings for this person. Either that, or they were best friends. Either option would work, yet there's no true clarification. If that was the intent, to keep the reader wondering, then you're doing well. If not, then you may want to go back and try to fit in more detail to help carry along the story.
This was a bit confusing as well. I'm kind of wondering how, exactly, would this person be able to do that? Haven't you not seen them for a while? That may take a bit of editing to make sense od, but I think I understand what you're doing with it.
In terms of the rhythm I was getting from the rest of this piece, this bit threw me off, but you seem to catch back on at "for you to give to me." Good work getting it back on track.
That seems to be all I have for you today! There is room for improvement, but you've definitely got potential! I hope to see more work from you soon.
Arden
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is such a beautifully detailed review and I love and appreciate it so much! It might take me a while to add onto this, but your review is definitely helpful!
Of course! I'm so glad you liked the feedback <3 Keep writing!
I just want to apologize for the spacing, I can't quite figure out how to do it....yet.