...

...

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Adnamarine
Review

This section has a more serious twist to it than the others, I think. The Lizard character has kind of a twisted side, which gives the story a twisted side... or... a different kind of twisted side than the pie eating gave it. :)

This really feels like it's going places now, like there really is a connection with all the different things that have been happening, and like... like something surprising is going to happen. It feels like it's taking a more serious turn. I like that.

In a way it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland that in some ways it's bizarre, but there are elements of normalcy, and flashes of something closer to reality, and it has the potential to bring out a darker side of the story.
Now, I didn't like Alice in Wonderland, but for other reasons than the description I gave above.
I really enjoy this.

Count me in to read the next section once you have it. Can't wait to see what you'll throw at us next. You've kept me guessing thus far; I know you won't fail to surprise me again. :)


-Adna

Wow. This was great! I haven't read the other ones though. I saw that it was in second person, correct? And I became interested...
I like how I could seriously hear the characters voices in my head. Evelyn had a New York City accent, the Lizard sounded really anxious, creepy, and hyper all at the same time. Though the "you" character didn't have much of a voice...

World that has laws against color = awesome idea, wish i thought it up. :P

*goes to read parts 1,2,3, and 4*



In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien