Published November 6, 2009
Step by step,
I walk the road.
My lungs have breathed
my blood has flowed.
'You're still alive!'
the doctors said.
But as far as I'm concerned,
I'm the walking dead.
Shaking and gasping,
the walls call out.
Voices whisper:
'There's only one route!'
I shake my head
but the voices go on.
I tear out my hair.
I just want them gone!
So I grab the gun
and close my eyes.
I smile to myself.
There's no goodbyes.
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139,441 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Ok. First off I love the poem. it is dark and mysterious. The title of the poem is what made me want to read it. I can't say that much on this poem. the rythm was there. the message was there. it was great. I hope other people like the poem too.
I feel like I almost understand the narrator's position!! I feel the mental breakdown and her morale breaking. It's flawless except for I agree with Classy and that one word, just find something to replace it and make it flow better. That is about it! I feel like the poem should also be made into some sort of soap opera but ignore that last rambling bit!!
Purple Elephants and sugar packets!
-Lizz
Hiya!
This is the only line I found not to flow. There are too many syllables compared to the other lines. Maybe you could find something else to say here! I'm sorry, but I don't have any suggestions.
I really liked the poem, though. Except for that one line, it flowed nicely.
~Classy