Published October 6, 2008
My Sweetheart
Goodness and willing,
all the way through.
Your smiles and laughter
and gracefulness too.
Those gorgeous qualities
pull me through the day.
Curious and simple
and loving all the way.
Bubbly and trusting,
as most five year olds are.
If you need me, I'll come,
no matter how far.
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Hey Emma! as you know I'm new at this but oh well. I really love this poem. I thought it was really sweet. Can't wait to read some others!
Seriously, this is one of the cutest poems I've read! Very, very sweet!
And, good too!
-Adrian
Uhhh.. Ishy, this poem is about my 5 year old cousin.. My five year old girl cousin.. So thanks for the sweet review, but umm.. Yeah, its not about true love
Thanks anyway!
sweet, sweet, sweet...thats all i can say
'Bubbly and trusting,
as most five year olds are.
If you need me, I'll come,
no matter how far.'
couldnt ask for a better ending...nice work
i love this poem.
as i read it, it reminded me of certain someone.
even though were no longer together and it has been a tough breakup this poem reminded me of the good times when things were innocent and happy.
this poem is bascially the definiation for a first love
Really great!! The revisions helped.
One little tick that's really bugging me is that second line in the second stanza. It's a syllable longer then it should be. (Sorry, I'm a perfectionist!!)
You are a really great writer! You draw inspiration from happiness as well as sorrow, which is more then what can be said about most writers on this site.
Great work, keep writing!
-KK
Thanks guys for the great info! I just revised my poem, so you can see it again if you like.
Please keep revising my work! it definatally needs it!
*Emily*
Very cute. It's so adorable. A few technical aspects that need analyzing...
-In one of the lines you said cutious. I believe you meant curtious, which would make it just a simple spelling mistake...
-You format doesn't exactly fit between the first and second stanzas, particularly in the second line. Find a way to fix that.
Other then that, I really love it. It's such a cute, sweet poem.
Great work! Keep writing!!
-KK
I love this, a great way to start
This is so tender, though i think you did mispell some things!
I didnt really get the second line... but i like the rest of it, its like a letter to a loved one, saying at the end "if you need me ill come, no matter how far," beautiful
great poem, short and sweet
This was really cute
All I can say is,
that's how you spell gorgeous ;]
Don't know what word you were trying to spell here
but, its spelled wrong. Maybe put sweet there instead.
I loved this poem it definitely made my heart warm.
It was short and simple and got the meaning down.
Love the ending it was perfect, I can't wait to see
what else you can come up with.
With all due respect,
Mackenzie