I hear silence
In a room filled with a thousand people
I grasp the mic with my sweaty hands
I've been trying to get a single word out
For the past forever seconds
They've given up trying to seem remotely interested
I finally get a word out
They don't care anymore
I see mouths moving
The last few eyes diverting away from me
Mouths moving
But still
Silence
This is me
My life
I have a lot to show
But I didn't have the courage to once
Now I do
But it seems no one cares anymore
My life plays out in the background
Muffled by thousand other lives
All the noise of their lives merge into silence
But the voices in me can't scream over this silence
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139,597 Literary Works • 672,615 Reviews
Heyo! I just want to stop by and make a small review.
I am B.
I want to start off by saying that this was one of the most relatable pieces I have seen.
The use of "life" and "silence" together makes me feel like there is a ton of meaning behind this.
I honestly could not see much to fix, at all really.
What I thought was the most unique was the lines following:
"My life
I have a lot to show
But I didn't have the courage to once
Now I do
But it seems no one cares anymore
My life plays out in the background
Muffled by thousand other lives
All the noise of their lives merge into silence
But the voices in me can't scream over this silence"
Because these likes together show the emotions that you felt, or the narrator felt.
I loved this, and the word usage was fantastic.
Keep writing,
~B.
This is so powerful! And relatable...
I've always wanted to be in a musical and I recently decided to try out despite that I'm self-conscious of my singing- but I ended up facing something extremely similar.
"In a room filled with a thousand people
I grasp the mic with my sweaty hands
I've been trying to get a single word out
For the past forever seconds
They've given up trying to seem remotely interested
I finally get a word out
They don't care anymore"
That part really made me sad, but it was beautifully written.
Thanks for writing this- its nice to know I'm not alone.