Daylight

The sun streams in softly between the curtains and falls on my eyes, waking me from the short comfort of sleep. When I turn to my side, I see she is still asleep on the couch, safe and warm. Her dreams are totally oblivious to my personal war.

It’s freezing, but seeing her so bundled up, and feeling better, makes me want to pretend everything is okay; as if everything can be how it was back in the summer time.

I know I need to get up, and leave before she wakes. But what I have to do…isn’t easy. She has no idea of my new founded responsibility, that rests heavily on my shoulders. A responsibility she still thinks belongs to her.

I let out a long hard sigh; seeing my breath. After about five minutes I finally sit up. I fold my blanket, grab my shotgun and just before I head out I say goodbye to her. A part of me wishes she was awake, but I don’t want her to cry, I never want to see her cry ever again. I’ve decided to leave without a note. Besides, what would it say? “I’ve decided to sacrifice my soul so you don’t have to, because I think you are awesome and sweet, and the one thing in the world that actually meant something to me…don’t forget to feed the cat? Sincerely Jake. P.S. I’m probably dead by the time you read this note.”

As I open the door, the still air is like a knife to my lungs. There isn’t any snow, only a cold sun. Its rays glistening on the tops of the billions of trees. I make sure to take a good long look at all the things I should have noticed before this small moment.

I want to take one last look at her, but before I can turn my head…I stop. Without another thought I look dead straight. “I will see you again, soon.” I take a step forward, and as I do, the door closes softly behind me.