The first time I forgave.

Lacy Rayne here to review(:

WOW. This poem is so amazing! You put so much emotion into it! I only have a few nit picks here and there, first, the poem did seem a little vague when you said "I forgot". I feel like you should of added something a little more.

Then.. well actually, thats all(:

The poem was so beautiful and haunting, but in a GOOD way! It gave me chills and I wish there was more from you, I want to keep reading but theres nothing there

Overall, you did such a good job and I loved it!

Keep writing(:

Hi,
Excellent poem by the way. I understand the emotion you put through your poem. I think your poem is vague in some part such as the last line,
"I forgot,
and I forgave,
the first time I forgave" I'm assuming this means you're forgiving the person who treated you this way, but you forgot why?
There's nothing wrong with having it vague. It would just be a good idea to have the idea to be a little bit more clear. But you don't have to change it, if you don't want to. I've had bad experiences with changing parts of my poems just because people told me to, so do you!
Keep up the great work!
And have a good day

Welcome to YWS by the way.

Now to the reviewing portion of this message:

You captured the image of what a person feeling suicidal would. Though sad there was a hidden happiness to it due to how well it was written and how easy it was to follow. It was poetic, but understandable which to me is hard to find nowadays so good job. You had a grammatical error in line 19 you forgot the "the" before the word edge, but besides that the piece flowed nicely.

I loved what you did at the end also, taking the title and making it your last line was awesome and I believed that it added a great deal to the emphasis of the poem.

Overall I have almost no complaints and saw nearly no errors. i enjoyed reading your poem and hope to come across more of your works.

Happy Writing! ^^

~Catcha01

Very nice. It's pretty neat, if you ask me. And you just joined, hello fellow newcomer!

First of all, you developed the poem's story nicely. It was organized well and executed nicely.

Your beginning, the first two lines was a nice way to begin it. However, the attention grabber didn't live up as it did to my expectations. The wording afterwards could have been executed better so that it would flow better.

Your wording, actually, should be fixed in some places in order to give readers a bigger impact. Another thing--the poem ended abruptly. You should at least develop a little bit more rather than rushing to fit it into the stanza. If it doesn't fit, then try to add another line if it's getting hard to do so.

Other than that..good job!

Wow. I don't know how to make that better, it just makes me reflect on everything. Cyberbullying is a huge issue lately and being a victim sucks when you can't fight back. You truly got the vulnerability across in this, along with the need for it to stop. The idea of forgiveness in the final moments is a beautiful concept and it is a beautiful conclusion. I can't get over how much I love this! You definately have a talent. I can't wait for you to post more of your works, and I hope you do lots of reviews and read them to so you can improve your literature on your own terms :3