Young Writers Society

loved the use of paradox and contrast in this poem! perfectly titled, life consists of alot of random inexplicable moments that don't really fit into any sort of moral or ethical categories and never go beyond the notion of random occurrence. sometime weird shit just happens. Love the rhyme scheme, very sophisticated and clever word play! the only thing i would work on would be punctuation but other than that this piece was a great read! light and transparent with an air of existentialism and Freudian fantasy! well done!

Also loved the way in which you personifies the elements, particularly when speaking of how the stars shivered and the sleeping grass, this poem is full of effective poetic techniques that work collaboratively to effectively deliver the message of the poem

It's so fun and beautiful! I agree with the title! I'm just going to summarise what the other reviewers, and expand upon what they're saying, and point out other things.

You don't have any punctuation! Except for a period. Please add some! It seems as if it continues on without stopping.

More vivid detail! For example, How does the grass fall asleep?

You could add stanzas. Not necessary though. If you don't know how, hit enter and press space.

Lol! I think the poem flows smoothly, but the last line truly broke it up the flow (sorry if this was a bit of an exaggeration). You could've said bizarre, absurd, ridiculous, wild, or nonsensical which would relate back to the title.

Proof of this is here. http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/crazy

I don't exactly agree with the last two reviews.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas!

-Alex

I enjoyed this. The flow, length, and rhythm work well with your rhyme scheme. Fun to read.


I disagree with the other review in saying there wasn't anything lost or gained by using the simplistic AABB rhyme scheme. Browning and Lord Alfred Tennyson both used the shit out of that basic structure, and they rocked. Rhyme scheme is separate from imagery and meaning in the components of a poem, in my opinion. The purpose of a rhyme scheme is to complement pace, flow, and rhythm, which you've done perfectly here. Aesthetically speaking, I don't see any elements you could improve on. If you want, you could tighten your meter. Having lines with the same number of syllables, especially in poetry that's as structured as yours, can greatly improve flow.

Another point on which i disagree with the other reviewers is that not having a meaning in your poetry is fine. Poetry is art. It can contain a deep insight to the human condition, or it can just be fun to read. There's no right way. EE Cummings wrote lots of nonsensical stuff, just focused on pure aesthetics. I'd check him out if you'd like to explore other poems similar to the kind you've written here.

One thing I'd like to point out is your imagery. It seems like you're being vague in your description from your use of concept words. When you use words like "screamed" and "shivered", you're not describing much. All you're giving us is an action, an action we visualize in our own preconceptions when you don't describe it further. I know this poem is based on a dream, or supposed to be, and that dreams themselves can be pretty vague, but i think a good way to improve this would be to emphasize the "craziness" of the dream through odd descriptions. I don't mean contradicting descriptions, like the stars freezing and then falling in ashes, but something that kind of describes it, yet isn't anything you can visualize, something that works and connects with the reader and they don't know why.

This is just my opinion. Remember to be cautious of any opinion you receive. Writers have a tendency to project their own stylistic characteristics onto other writers as the "right" way. It takes practice to identify good advice. Hope this helped. Keep writing.

--Tramsned

I love this. Not entirely, and I'll get to that later, but this is probably the best imagery I've ever seen in a poem that rhymes while still keeping the rhythm in tact. So awesome job on that- but just a quick note along with the rhyming bit, it does restrict it a tiny bit I feel like, how you can say a lot more without being stuck in the mindset of "what can I rhyme with this?" instead of just having an objective and going to it without having to set a kind of barrier that takes away from the creativity you're capable of.
I'm a little stuck on the title being "Nonsensical Poem", and here's why: it feels very indirect to the poem itself, and it doesn't have that kind of puzzle-piece fit that a title should have to the contents, I guess. So look for some key words in your poem and think about the meaning, and brainstorm a few new ideas. The main reason I would like to see a different title is that I felt like nonsensical is a completely unrelated word to the poem, because it does make sense and something like that might not draw readers in as much.

so forgive me if I am right

but I had a crazy dream last night.

Hello there, Poetrybug19.
This is Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^

You have a lot of potential here, and the imagery could really be put to use if you drop the whole "nonsensical" part. The ending tells us that the imagery was from a dream, and I want to mention that most dreams can be interpreted as something instead of just "nonsense." Maybe the moon screaming and yelling could really be a metaphor for something in the depths of your mind. If you added some more meaning instead of using the excuse of "nonsense" this poem could improve a ton. It was mostly the ending that ruined the poem for me because you turned something potentially meaningful into nothing by calling it "nonsense".

I don't 100% hate the rhyme, it helped the flow of the poem in my opinion. But I'm still going to say something that I tell in all my reviews of rhyming poetry: sometimes rhyme isn't good. It could constrict your vocabulary, which blocks you from being able to say what you really want to say.

I don't have very much else to critique. But the imagery was wonderful and could be turned into something other than "nonsense". By calling it that, you strip away the meaning. Maybe you could associate your imagery with emotions/feelings. The nonsense aspect was the only thing that ruined the poem for me.

Lots of potential, try to reach that. I hope I helped!