Published February 6, 2011
How can I tell you
Just all that you are?
Words dance at the tip of my tongue,
And yet, other words seem so far.
What words then can be said,
That will define your every beauty and grace?
And what words can I say
That will make your heart race?
I cannot say that you are perfect,
Because you are so far beyond that fact;
But I can say that you are one of a kind,
This I know to the exact.
What words then can be uttered,
That will help warm your very heart?
And what words can I say
That will never depart?
I cannot say I will promise you the sun,
Because the sun is just too heavy a thing to hold;
But I can say I will remain by your side,
Even during the days in which we are old.
What words then can I express,
That will take your every ounce of breath away?
And what words can be said
That will forever make you stay?
I cannot say that we are infinite,
Because no one has ever touched infinity;
But I can whisper and promise to you this:
Our love will echo on into eternity.
2010 Vincent Cuccolo
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
PurpleHeart, I believe you just made my day!
It warms my heart greatly to come home, log on to YWS, and see positive and touching feedback on my work!
Haha, and yes, the very second I become famous, I'll let you and emmaline49 know!
This is so goooooood!!
I just joined YWS so i'm just getting a feel for the kinda things people write on here, and i've looked at a lot of writings today and WOW. This was my favorite so far! You got it just right - the imperfection of someone you love, the longing to promise forever but knowing you cant... all of it was just so realistic. You didn't just write it. - you felt it. And that comes across so definitely. I'm in love with this poem!!!!!
I'm with emmaline49 - can i know you when you're famous too?? haha(:
Thank you very much, lele253isme! I've considered maybe self-publishing some of my work! And as for songwriting, I'm hoping I'll meet the right people for that at some point!
true said and the words are even sadder than the moral. You need to make a poem book. or become a songwriter for one thing.
Thanks so much, MiRaCLeS!
I appreciate that!
That was such a heartfelt and honest poem.
All I can say is that it's amazing! I loved it!
Thank you, ShadowKnight155 and cali34rniasummer! Your feedback is most appreciated!
--> aaww! I think this is what love can really do, eh?? I'm soo in love with this
good good poem!
--->> yipes!
*My impression. Very good. I really like the lines from the start.
*I'm not quite a good critique so this is all I can say, if this piece is good or not
The fifth stanza(although powerful) doesn't jive. It breaks it up, but be careful changing it, you could ruin the poem. It is a very powerful stanza. It could just be me though; I had to read that stanza about three times. Overall, great work. Wait, I lied, BLEEPING AMAZING work. Is that better?
--ShadowKnight155
Thank you very much!
Wow. This is a little ironic... I just posted a poem my beloved wrote for me, because it meant that much to me, and then I read this... This is almost the perfect response to what he said! It is so moving, so beautiful...it made me sigh and think about what all I love about my man... Wonderful, wonderful job.
That's a great piece of poetry you have here! I truly enjoyed reading it. Your punctuation is good, and the figures of speech well-chosen, creating a strong concept behind your words.
Thank you!
I hope your love does echo eternally. i loved it. Really I did.
Thanks so much, emmaline49! And by all means, when I get famous, tell people I was your best friend! Hahaha
How can I tell you
Just all that you are?
Words dance at the tip of my tongue,
And yet, other words seem so far.
What words then can be said,
That will define your every beauty and grace?
And what words can I say
That will make your heart race?
I cannot say that you are perfect,
Because you are so far beyond that fact; :D I like that you made that clear instead of making this person annoyingly perfect
But I can say that you are one of a kind,
This I know to the exact.
What words then can be uttered,
That will help warm your very heart?
And what words can I say
That will never depart?
I cannot say I will promise you the sun,
Because the sun is just too heavy a thing to hold;
But I can say I will remain by your side,
Even during the days in which we are old. Sweet!
What words then can I express,
That will take your every ounce of breath away?
And what words can be said
That will forever make you stay?
I cannot say that we are infinite,
Because no one has ever touched infinity; That's a lovely line. *tears up*
But I can whisper and promise to you this:
Our love will echo on into eternity.
Yay! Great poem! When you're famous, can I say that I knew you?
So honest and heartfelt, there is nothing to be critiqued about this because I can tell it truly came from the soul and it has the effect that you must of been feeling when you penned it. Whoever you wrote it for should be very happy and is lucky to have someone like you man. Honesty is the best policy in my opinion, and this is perfectly honest.
Thanks so much! This poem came truly from the heart!
I LOVED this! So much emotion in it! And it's so very sweet! Bravo! Haha