Published February 12, 2009
This poem is specifically about my older brother, John. But this poem can be universal as well obviously.
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The color white:
Innocent,
Pure.
A beautiful thing,
Some may ensure.
But white can also
Represent death,
As you sit there with line after line,
Breath after breath.
And now the sweat runs
Down your face…
Here comes the high.
Here comes the race…
But one day
You’re going to lose control.
And when you finally hurt yourself
Will the truth unroll?
2009 Vincent Cuccolo
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139,506 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
I think that the sweat running down the face of the protagonist in this was not just symbolic, but also literal. As, so I'm told, that when under the influence of "the white stuff" it will make you sweat!
I liked the poem, but I like most of them. This one was more adventurous and I liked that. Well done.
Hello,PoeticGlow, I'm Des.
Your poem was good. It gives readers a clear understanding of the enticing, temptation and indulges of cocaine. Does the part with "...the sweat runs down your face" have something to do with the guilt that one may experience when getting high? Was the sweating symbolic?
I felt that the ending should have been a statement and not a question. It could be "The truth, it will unroll."
I loved it, though!
I love this poem, i dont have anything bad to say about it!
Though i got confused, some of the commas look like periods so i was thinking "shouldn't this be a comma?" But i figured it out
However you might want to add a comma, sorry for dwelling on punctuation, after
"a beautiful thing" third line.
Spelling and grammar check out okay and of course i love this poem, the whole plot basically what it is telling you, what its about.
The color white, seems so peaceful like a dove but when you think about it most drugs are white powder (except the ones that are blue powder)
Anyway overall i love this poem, cant wait to read your next big hit!
XOXO - Leyah