I Could Not

by PoeticGlow
  • September 17, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

Spoiler! :
This is a sequel to another poem I wrote, titled "I Should Have, which I will eventually submit.

I could not run away,
Even if I wanted to;
Because undeniably,
Every path leads to you.

I could not find another,
Even if I tried;
I’d rather be alone forever,
Than not have you at my side.

I could not sleep at night,
Even if these tired eyes demand me so;
What’s sleep without my sweetest dream?
It’s nothing, but a bitter show.

I could not live this life,
Even if time passes by with a grin;
Without you, I’m nothing,
Just an empty vessel wearing thin.

2011 Vincent Cuccolo

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
PoeticGlow
Comment
PoeticGlow commented · Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:19 pm

I do believe you two are quite right! I shall fix this minor error right away! Thanks for commenting!

User avatar
Adriana
Review
Adriana wrote a review · Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:48 am

I so loved this!!
It is simple, short and real... It flows perfectly and the rhymes are not forced.
You really did a great job!

PoeticGlow wrote:I could not runaway,
Even if I wanted to;
Because undeniably,
Every path leads to you.

This is my favourite part, but I think "runaway" should be "run away", right?
Anyway, congratulations and let us hear from you again soon, okay??
PoeticGlow wrote:This is a sequel to another poem I wrote, titled "I Should Have, which I will eventually submit.

I really want to see it!! Please hurry.
PS.:I'm sorry if anything here sounded offensive, I swear it was not my intention.

User avatar
Soulkana
Review
Soulkana wrote a review · Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:31 pm

Hey it's Soulkana here!

Well first off these was amazing. The emotion and the flow was brilliant. My only correction is the first line which I think the word "runaway" should be split in two. But other than that this was good. No spelling or grammar mistakes from what I can see. Well I can't wait for you're other one ^^. Well I wish you luck =)
Sincerely,
Soulkana<3



I think I have thankfully avoided being quoted.
— Lavvie