Mama, I’m in love with a banjo player
One who grins like a Scotch reel
As they play a song that’s fit and fun
I wish only I could hear.
With swiftness like a wild horse,
Their fingers dance across the strings
They step, mama, like clogs in line
My heart, in time, could sing.
Mama, I’m in love with a banjo player
One who laughs like lightning bugs
Done tuning up, they strike a chord
And my soul buzzes, warps, and tugs.
They meet my eyes from up on stage,
And mama, I could die—
“Here’s one last song! To the girl I have,
And the one I left behind.”
So go on! Get ‘em! Why won’t you tell?
Oh mama, don’t you see?
I’m in love with a banjo player
But they ain’t in love with me.
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140,258 Literary Works • 673,075 Reviews
Hi Plume! Valkyria here to leave a short review for your work. Let's get into it:
I adore this poem. It feels like a folk song that someone is singing in a tavern. It has the right amount of repetition and description to set the stage. I love how it is addressed to the speaker's mother (mama). It adds an oomph that makes the narrative work. The similes and metaphors create strong imagery, showing us how special the banjo player is and how they make the speaker feel. I'm falling in love with them too!
This was a cute story, and it brightened up my day a lot! Well done!
This was something you would only expect a poet in the wild west to come up with.
I loved this poem. The repetition of "Oh mama" makes it sound like this is a letter the writer is writing to their mother. The different descriptive words in the stanzas are nice too. Gives the poem a little umph and makes you feel the writer's feelings better.
The writer's in love with a banjo player they saw at a concert. The last thing I would expect to read a poem about.
I couldn't find anything to critique. This was good poem writing about and interesting subject.
Keep up the good work.
Oh this is such a downhome adorable piece. It makes for a fun and lighthearted read with easygoing rhymes and a cute story to spin it altogether. I love stuff like this.
Absolutely beautiful and incredibly well written! I really love the poem structure and every line flows together real nicely. I'm a particular sucker for the ABCB rhyme scheme, and you did such a lovely job executing it.
Thanks for your comment!
Of course! Love your work!