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18+ Language Mature Content

To the man who lives in my closet...

by PlainandSimple


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Sometimes I wonder why you come out during the night. Why do you like to sneak up on me in the happiest of times? It started slow and not that big of a deal. Then I would hear you scratching on my closet door. Why would you keep me up at night? How could you?

It wasn't that hard to ignore you. However, I would feed you and let you grow. Things seemed nice when I was kind to you and didn't try to ignore you. We would talk occasionally. You always liked to get into a deep conversation, even if I didn't want too. You forced me, and I was scared of you. We didn't talk that often at first, but then you wanted to every night. I couldn't say no, your eye's manipulated me. You were the most beautiful human I have ever seen, but I could tell you were from hell.

I tried to tell my mom about you when things got worse. However, you were smart and would always make things happy. So I would never get the chance to tell her. How were you so intelligent? I don't understand why you knew what I was going to do before I did it. Even though you confused me, I loved you with all of my heart.

Now I know who you were, you were just a masked man from hell. Someone who could never be loved unless they changed their appearance and dragged someone down with them. Fuck you. I don't love you anymore, and I never want to see you again. I made you leave, but I know you will come back.

For now, I am safe. I have a little friend in my pocket keeping you away. When she leaves I will have no protection, but that's okay. I believe I can handle you on my own.

You helped me though, so thank you.

Fin. 


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Points: 144
Reviews: 4

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Thu Apr 02, 2020 8:06 pm
DustyCat says...



At first I thought that it was a metaphor for depression but the end threw me off.

This line, 'Someone who could never be loved unless they changed their appearance and dragged someone down with them.' made it more human to me. What were you trying to convey?

'I don't understand why you knew what I was going to do before I did it.'- change your 'why' to 'how'.

A lot of mystery in your last lines. If she stays in your pocket and will leave, does that mean she is alive or just another metaphor? Mmmm

It's a good start though. I like it.




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Points: 144
Reviews: 4

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Thu Apr 02, 2020 8:06 pm
DustyCat wrote a review...



At first I thought that it was a metaphor for depression but the end threw me off.

This line, 'Someone who could never be loved unless they changed their appearance and dragged someone down with them.' made it more human to me. What were you trying to convey?

'I don't understand why you knew what I was going to do before I did it.'- change your 'why' to 'how'.

A lot of mystery in your last lines. If she stays in your pocket and will leave, does that mean she is alive or just another metaphor? Mmmm

It's a good start though. I like it.




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Mon Mar 30, 2020 3:52 pm
Tawsif wrote a review...



I loved reading this. It was short, meaningful, and provocative. Well done!

There was a kind of new thing you introduced here. Normally these sort of characters (that closet-man) are always negative. But you also shoed a bit of positive side. How it also helped the MC as well. That was interesting.

Well, I wonder if it's kind of metaphorical, thiS CLOSET MAN. I mean, I read he other revie, and you mentioned the 'antidepressants'. If that's what you are referring to, it's not really so clear. You need to mention it somewhere in the story. This is only to avoid keeping any doubts or confusions in the reader's mind.
I like it a lot. Bring a bit more clarity, thw story'll be a masterpiece.

Keep writing.






Thank you very much for the review! And also thank you for the kind words.

I don't want the reader to know the point. I want it to sort of be a mystery, something they have to make up. And then the readers can make up there own meaning if they choose too. Thank you for the advice either way! I will definatley keep that in mind <3



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Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:38 pm
JesseWrites wrote a review...



This was so suspenseful and just incredible. I really liked it. You had a narrator that showed some emotion. The plot is good. I like your style of writing, but there could be more detail in the end.

The beginning was also a little weird. the flow was off, but that will improve. It did in this piece. This was one of my favorites in a while.

Good job!
~S.M.Locke~






thank you very much! It means the world that you reviewed and even read it. I understand that I didn't add much detail, but I think that was my point.

In this piece the man is essentially my view on depression, and how it works in my head. As for the girl in the pocket- that's antidepressants. But thank you for the advice:) it means the world.

<3



JesseWrites says...


Now I understand. You are very welcome :)



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26 Reviews


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Sun Mar 29, 2020 3:13 pm
Tanishka wrote a review...



Hey ,here for a review.

Amazing work , it literally binds the reader throughout . It is full of mystery and suspense. The last part of the story makes things even more mysterious when you mention the lady in her pocket. One thing You could work on was keeping the story more tight , I mean it could have a stronger beginning and end. The whole plot is actually amazing but you could make it a bit more descriptive. Other than that ,I think this was a truly amazing piece.

I hope you keep on posting such works. :D






Thank you! That really means a lot.

I'm happy that you felt the suspense and mystery! It really means the world. This piece kind of has a hidden meaning and isn't exactly how I described it, so maybe you could figure that out!

Thank you very much again!




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