You know, there is a lot that happens in a teenager's life. Like as in mine; drugs, jail, abuse, hurt, and sadness. It might not all happen to me, but I witness it. Something's teenagers have experienced are worse than what I have. I would have to say my life isn't the worst. To be honest, far from it. Everyone tries so hard to be someone; tries to have something to look forward to in life. Nobody understands that it's so hard. So hard to be something good and do no bad. Most adults expect so much from you and never think down about you. The first time you disappoint one of them, even if it's small, it breaks you. You tire of hearing that you are a disappointment. Then you do worse things, things that you can never change. I hope all adults would get that. I can say I don't show off my depression if I even have it, like every other person. I don't want people to think I'm hurting. I want to be the one to give advice. I want to be the one helping others, not others helping me. It's therapeutic. So I write about my problems. I have hundreds and hundreds of things about every little and the big things that have happened in my life. I may still live with my parents, but they clarified that they don't love me anymore. They don't want me to live with them anymore. That's fine with me. I may be only 14, might only be so young to the eye. I am not. I am as grown as I will ever get. I tell myself what to do. Some may beg to differ, but I know my life inside and out. Sometimes, however, things get to be too much. I can't handle life anymore.
I love life. It's just that sometimes I overthink things. Make myself think I don't enjoy life. Plain and simple. I've grown up around suicide and death. Although it doesn't affect me as you might think, I'm okay. I've noticed that all the adults in my life afraid to ask questions. Ask if I'm okay. Sometimes I'm not sure really what to feel because no one has told me how to feel. I know that isn't how emotions work, but my parents don't cry when someone dies. If only they knew we need them to be around to help, be around to teach us. Children are fragile and don't know to do anything unless they teach them. I feel so deep into my emotions; It feels like my lungs will collapse. Most adults think you can just do anything, and never really think not everything is possible. That may be a little close-minded, however, it's true.
Plain and Simple.
Plain and Simple.
Plain and Simple.
*I wrote this when I was younger, but never shared it. So I thought this would be the perfect place*
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This really was plain and simple. You portrayed the life of a depressed teenager quite well. This is quite a common thing that teenagers feel a bit of aversion towards adults for not sympathizing, for not caring, for not understanding. You described those issues nicely.
Let's look into some technical things.
'Something's teenager's experience is worse than mine.'
Maybe you meant 'some teenager's experience is worse than mine', or something else. But the above-mentioned sentence doesn't make sense.
'all the adults in my life afraid to ask questions'
I think an 'are' is missing after 'life'.
'I know that isn't how emotions work, but my parents don't cry when someone dies.'
This sentence reads like it came out of nowhere. You said before you don't know how to feel because nobody has told you how and what to feel, then you suddenly say 'my parents don't cry when someone dies'. I don't get the context of this sentence. I'd like to know what you meant here.
When I was reading this, I thought you were being a bit hasty, that you were in a hurry. Maybe you could slow down a bit, take more time while bringing one thought after another. But then I realized you are writing about a depressed teenager. And a depressed teenager's mind obviously won't function normally like any other individual. In that sense, your pacing is okay.
I like the idea of this piece. Thanks for sharing it in the site. Hope to read more of you.
Keep writing.
Thanks for the review. Sorry, that doesn't make that much sense, it was one of my first pieces of writing. I was about 13 when I wrote this, but I'll fix it up. Thank you very much!
You're welcome.
Hi!
)
I think you could break a lot of this up in a similar way and it would be even more powerful.
I'm really glad you shared this here. I can relate to a lot of the feelings here, and I would give you a over the internet hug but I don't really like hugs unless they're from old women. And you're a stranger, so. You seem like a really deep person who feels a lot and has lots of questions about why the world is the way it is, which I can also relate to also. (Friends? Hmm? Idk i'm strange at making friends and paranoid of stalker/serial killers
ANYWAY. AWAY FROM ME.
I can see the progress between this and the two more recent things I've reviewed. This seems rougher around the edges, a little more bleeding (Like a good steak) but I can still find the similarities. I would break up the two blocks of words into short paragraphs so they don't muddle all together. I really like how you separated the paragraphs, ending one with how your fed up with life and the other with how you love it. I think the same thing, so for me it's hugely relatable. I could go on and on my feelings over each sentence but i'm going to refrain myself
I don't like correcting peoples grammar because that's what a spell checks for, but this sentence was noticeably tripping me up-
Something's teenager's experience is worse than mine.
(which I also relate to hugely) It should be-
Somethings teenagers experience are worst than what I have.
Or something along those lines, i'm not sure if that was actually grammatically correct or what but it makes a little more sense.
I can relate hugely to this and even in this earlier writing I can tell how powerful your writing is. Like I said in the other review, you pull NO punches, just go for it. (Unless you over edit. Don't do that, seriously. Whatever amount of editing you threw at this it doesn't sound like its been squeeze into a corset but flows naturally like a waterfall. )
Great job!
*Pretends you're an old lady and gives virtual hug*
AndName
Yes, I'm glad you can see the difference in writing. I wrote this when I was about 13, and over the years I'm sure I got better. I will edit it. I do have a spell check thing but I'm not sure, sometimes it doesn't work that great. I just have to pretend I remember everything about grammar
(Because I don't). Anyway's I am a stranger, yes, but you seem pretty cool ( so if I were to be a serial killer I wouldn't imagine killing you). Anyway, I'm not either a stalker or murder so if you would want, friends would be nice. Anyway, thank you for the review 
.
And *dances triumphantly* I did not come across as a weirdo with my friendness!
Oh wow! That's interesting. I used to not use spell check or grammar check when I was younger, and I got a lot of complaints by it. That's why occasionally I have very slimmed down writings. That's also probably why I cared so much because nobody used to like my work
. And awe 