Published March 3, 2020
Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
I am grieving. Grief comes from all factors of life, but why? Why do things change? Why is it a part of life? Change fucks me up, and I know it does for everyone else. Change can be fabulous, but every time things are perfect, shit goes downhill. What is wrong with this world, drugs, hate, murder, and lust.
I am grieving because of all this change, and I can't do it. I can't focus on anything anymore. My life is going downhill. Fuck it. I can move on, I can get through this, I can like anyone. Haha, that is so funny. I don't want to be told that I'm just being dramatic. Look, a lot has happened so maybe I have the right to overreact.
Fuck off.
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I very much relate to change being a big issue. As it is I'm getting ready to move. The change looks nice, but where I'm at is also nice, and the uncertainty is bothersome.
Writing-wise I very much enjoy the pace of this. As mentioned in another review comment, the point of view can affect the whole meaning of this piece, and writing from several points of view, though it gives the reader (and author in some situations) more insight, i recommend publishing a piece of this length in a singular viewpoint. Perhaps the most impactful?
You really write plain and simple! And brief too! Very brief.
You know, your style reminds me of 'stream of consciousness', where writers simply write everything the characters think inside their heads. And I'm fond of it.
I just have one thing to say.
'What is wrong with this world, drugs, hate, murder, and lust.'
You were talking about the things that changed in your life and how you're so frustrated because of it. Then suddenly you're frustrated with the world going wrong with murder, drugs, hate and so on. It just seems a bit irrelevant.
I want to read more of your works. Keep writing.
thank you. And really I was talking about how messed up the world was the whole time
The case of you talking about the world the whole time is a bit unclear. Keep in mind your point of view when writing. It's a really great work, and just with a little tweaking, you'll really wow some editors!