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140,456 Literary Works • 673,226 Reviews
Hey little author here,
This poem is completely and utterly beautiful. It made me feel happy for this couple and how much they really care about each other. It was beautiful and perfect in every single way, and that's how it needs to be.
Keep writing
Hey Pixie! I'm going to do an uber-quick review, because I have to be out in a minute.
Stanza One- Nice, interesting start. A sun and moon love story is always interesting to me.
Stanza Two- This stanza was very well written and introduces good conflict.
Stanza Three-How sweet! The last line read like Yoda-speak to me, which always feels forced for some reason. You may want to try rewording it for maximum effect.
Stanza Four- In the third line, he said something 'fairly'. I'm not entirely sure if that's the right adverb for you to use here, you may want to find something more appropriate.
Okay! I have to head out now, but there's my review. I included what I thought were the most helpful and relevant thoughts. Good luck, and keep writing!
ok...ok...ok, now this is what am talking about, this is what i LOVE to read. It rhymes, is harmonious and to make it all better, it coordinates perfectly.
"As fatigue wears your loving smile?"...now that is my favorite part. To tell you the truth, i could read and read this for minutes or write on and on about how perfect it is, but am gonna shorten it here...LOVE IT.
This poem was absolutely lovely! It all flowed so well, and the imagery was fabulous! The rhyming scheme was great and it was all together put very nicely. I hope to read more from you, considering I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Best Wishes!
I really love this poem. I myself write poems on nature and this one really thrilled me. The use of rhymes is awesome and there is a very good melodious touch to the poem. I would love to read more of such poems from you!
I love your use of rhyme to generate musicallity. The style is simple, brief and lovely.It clearly brings out the love story and one almost wishes they could be either of the characters. I hope you write more because I am definetly hooked.