Published March 23, 2010
Music makes me dance
Go into deep trance
I move my arms
Set on my charms
And look from left to right,
I take a broom
While I continue to bloom
Prancing around the room
My legs won’t stop moving
While my body is continuously grooving
But a noise interrupts my music
A sound from the closed a public
I open the door to see a man
Saying my husband died in Afganistan
The day the music came to an end
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140,630 Literary Works • 673,569 Reviews
I like the poem.... however your rhythm seems off or something. I like the ending.
Wow, this is a really great poem. You caught my attention at the first sentence and still have let it go since. I find your rhymes amusing and easy to follow and read up until the last few lines. I really enjoyed this poem and ill be sure to keep an eye out for your next one. As for a review I have nothing, its flawless! Keep up the good work!
Hi there.
I really like this, even though it was a little random and a tiny bit forced in places. Still, the imagery was good and it flowed. It made me smile, even at the end... *clicks 'like'*
Thank you for making me smile and for the brilliant poetry.
~Scarlett.
hey this was pretty cool but the rhyming sounded a bit forced and the end was totally random, not that there's anything wrong with random. remember, in poetry it doesn't always have to rhyme. you could probably add a little bit of punctuation to help it.